Mine (:

2012-02-14T21:40:00.002+08:00

It's surprising how fast we change. Everything's different now. I'm going to be leaving the friends I've had for 4 years. My classmates, schoolmates. And I don't want to. Nobody knows it, but I'm scared of change. I'd willingly spend the rest of my life together with this group of people I've grown to love.

I know it's a new chapter. I know I should be glad, to finally enter a new phase of my life. But all I feel is apprehension. What if they don't accept me? What if I meet a hardcore ELF there? But I guess nobody will ever replace the group of friends here.

Moving on. I don't understand these feelings. I thought I would have learnt by now. Never to fall for someone in fandom. Haven't I experienced how badly that turned out? And yet, all I seem to think of is you. I don't know anymore. I really don't. I'll try to stay away. But we don't talk much in the first place, so it wouldn't be out of character for me.

Please, don't let me fall anymore.

2011-10-17T22:14:00.002+08:00

I'm keeping my promise to come back and blog whenever I feel unbearably sad.

I can remember how it all started. Do you? When I tweeted that I was playing badminton, you replied and said you wanted to play too. During that short period of time that we were conversing, I admit, I found you slightly annoying. Well, what can I say, I am rather anti social. But somehow, I kept that annoyance to myself, played it cool, made a new friend. Boy, if I knew I would end up regretting that decision, I probably would never, ever have decided to make you my friend, and I wouldn't have ended up falling for you. Throughout that one month, you made me smile, you made me laugh, you made me frown, you made me cry. You brought me happiness, but you brought me the ultimate pain as well. I loved you, that I can't deny. For that one month, I found myself wanting to protect someone again, wanting to make you happy. Perhaps I should have told you from the start I wouldn't date someone who's already taken, be it officially or not. Perhaps I should have said that I hated people lying to me, especially about stuff like these. If I had known from the start, I would never have fallen for you. And now, who else can I blame but myself for falling too deep? I took it seriously, but you just took it as a game and played me. Now whenever I see anything that reminds me of you, I feel something stirring within me. But whether it's hate or love, I can't tell.

I really hope it's the former, because that would mean I've put you down. Put you down and locked everything away. Dumped all our memories in a bin and set it on fire. But I haven't. Because I still find myself browsing through our chat logs. I find myself thinking of how different life would have been if I hadn't met you. I'd be better off, and I wouldn't have missed a thing. Maybe, except my heart, and even then, I don't think I would miss it much.

2011-06-26T21:33:00.002+08:00

My posts have been more and more frequent. Once every month or so. That's bad considering blogging is my last resort when I'm feeling so shitty.

I trusted you. I believed you when you told me "I like you". I tried so hard, so fucking hard. And in the end, all I got was an, "I did like you. I still kinda do." For someone like me with confidence issues, all it did was tell me, "You're not good enough. Again. You failed. Again." I told you that I would have preferred you to tell me from the start. But after two weeks alone, I wonder if I subconsciously lied. I think I would have preferred you to continue lying to me, even if it meant that you were simply playing with me, because you would already be with someone else.

Yep, can't put everything into words. So I shall end here.

2011-06-14T15:14:00.000+08:00

I thought you were different. Turns out you were even better than all of them (Y) Despite how much I hurt, at least I can safely say that one day, I'm sure I'll be over you.

2011-06-02T22:04:00.002+08:00

I don't know anymore. If it's any consolation, this shouldn't last long. I wish it'd be easy for me to just pick up and leave. But I know it'll drag, with my indecisiveness. Things are moving too fast for me to even comprehend. I need to slow down, take a step out of this situation, and review it. What happened to the cool headed me that wouldn't rush into things? Probably never existed in the first place.

2011-03-13T12:38:00.002+08:00

I really don't know what to say anymore. All I could say was "oh", "okay", "lol". Tears wouldn't stop running down my face. Did you even realise I wasn't giving a fuck to what you were saying? And when you finally realised it, it was too late for me. I just hope it isn't too late to get out of your life.

2011-03-01T21:39:00.000+08:00

Failed 4, maybe even 5, subjects, passed 4. How awesome

2011-02-24T00:25:00.003+08:00

To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end

Hamlet by William Shakespeare

2011-02-15T20:09:00.002+08:00

Been blogging more and more nowadays. Maybe one day I'll come back to blog daily. Hmmm. Recently, I met someone. Let's name this someone G.

Everybody seems to know about G. Yeah, I mean, I have been indiscreet on twitter and all, but, I don't get the overwhelming response. I'm getting flooded with questions on "who is G?" everyday. Nobody seems to believe that G isn't anybody important.

Honestly, lol, I don't know what else to say. I've been paying so much attention to G, that I've neglected everything else. E.g I even had to ask Xiaowei to check my twitter in the guides room while I was pumping helium just to see. I mean, damn, this is like an addiction.

And I can't handle addictions. Not anymore. I can go a day without talking to G, but at the end of the day, I'd be grumpy, and this would only lift when I get a notification that I've got a new message from G. This makes me feel so dependant, that I can't even control my mood without G.

It's so draining, emotionally and physically. 13 hours apart, I have to wake up at unholy times to talk to you, I've got to sleep so late, just so I can scrap another hour or two to stay online. End up, I'll feel so damn tired the next day, but I'll still be happy as long as you're on msn with me.

Idk man, when I talk to you, or when I don't talk to you, I'll still feel sad. Maybe it's time to take a breather, walk out onto the balcony, inhale the cool night air, and clear my head. Maybe it's time for me, to stop being so foolish, even if it's just for a while. Maybe, just maybe.

2011-02-02T20:47:00.004+08:00

I don't know whether I made the right choice. But if anybody was in my situation, I think they would have done the same. Why stick to this, right? Somehow, I can't tell who to trust anymore. Everybody's the same.

I didn't know this was what I was getting myself into when I got into this fandom. Never thought that I'd be the one having to endure this. Sometimes, I really regret getting in. It's like the wildest rollercoaster yet, so many ups and downs. Not just that, but the time, the money, the energy, the life it's sucking from me is killing me.

I want, so badly, to find a bunch of people I can just lay low with, chill out, never to do this again. I thought I found it with them. I let myself get emotionally attached to them quickly, never doubting their words, always believing. I don't know.

I've met so many great people from this fandom. But the lousy ass people I've met far outweigh them. I've met some of the best people in my life here, but where there are good, there are also bad.

I can't bring myself to handle this anymore. It's my O lvl year, I need to focus, instead of spending time on this. I love them, I love all 9 of the girls to death, but this time, I can't do anything for them.

Just for this year, I'm gonna put myself first. But then and again, I never have any self control when it comes to soshi, why would I even believe I can change now?

2010-12-14T23:43:00.002+08:00

Love is the emotion of strong affection and personal attachment

Infatuation is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoned passion or love; addictive love. Usually, one is inspired with an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone.

So... Which one is it?

2010-11-23T23:37:00.002+08:00

Aye, its been a long time since I blogged. Life's been complex. Met many new people, mostly good with a few rotten apples thrown in here and there. On that note, I came back today because my head's been overflowing with so much stuff. Mainly, what are friends?

Friends are people you meet? Nah, acquaintances. Friends are people you love? Yes, true, I do love my friends, but no. Friends are a complex group of people in my everyday life. I actually categorize my friends, call me weird or whatever, but yes.

Several methods of categorization exist for me. Firstly, the amount of time I've known them. Since 2008, since 2009, or since this year. Needless to say, I would definitely feel the closest to those whom I've known for the longest time, no? No. I've found myself constantly puzzled at this. What makes me feel closer to people I've known for slightly over a month, rather then people I've been in daily contact with for 3 years? I honestly don't know. For the past month I've observed myself getting closer and trusting this group of people more. Yes, we share the same obsession over snsd, but other then that, we're so different. One working in a hospital, another's a law student in university, a few in polys, two of them in high class schools. I'm the second youngest, needless to say, I feel left out occasionally, but what can I expect? Having 7 people in a chat definitely leaves some to be ignored. I guess I should be happy I even have a group to spazz with.

Secondly, by the level of trust I have for them. Of course, in this department, nobody can beat Gwen, Quin and maybe Birdy. But right next up would be 누나. Why? Like I said, I've only known her for a month. Yet she knows more about me then people who've been around me for 3 years. How puzzling is that? I've always been short on trust, never been able to trust others. Yet certain people can break me down so easily. Never trying to trust, means never trusting at all.

Thirdly, the amount of affection I have for them. In this, only Gwen can beat everyone. She's the most epic friend ever, never fails to be there for me. Everytime I have something to talk about, she'd be the first one I talk to. But then comes in the weird bit. I actually care more for people I know for a month then people I know for 3 years. This scares me. I would rather see myself hurt then to even think of them hurting. Yes, I know. Sounds weird and creepy. But true. They are the funniest, randomest, most lovable people to be around. Everytime I go out with them, I never want to leave.

I don't know where I'm going with this. Guess I just had alot of stuff to offload. Been weighing on my mind so heavily, with all the jealousy I've been feeling over... and all the frustrations. Lucky I've got my blog, always here for me. I guess in summary, friends aren't easy to come by, true friends, even rarer.

2010-07-03T00:26:00.000+08:00

510th post.

mmm. my blog's dead. nothing much to blog, except, well, in another 2 days. yeah.

2010-06-17T15:15:00.003+08:00

i miss you. please stay away from my life. all i need is to really get over you.

2010-06-10T15:47:00.002+08:00

I'm not gonna make you choose. So for that reason alone, I'm leaving. You don't need me anyway. You'll be better off this way. I'm not gonna make you choose because I love you. All I want now is for you to be happy, and for me to forget this pain. It would have come to an end either way. I'm just choosing the process it ends, and the outcome. This way, we'll leave with happy memories, and with no painful ending. I'm just gonna let you fade out of my mind until you become nothing more then a memory of my past. "Listen girl 좋아해, baby girl 사랑해~" If you had just looked out for the hints and signs, maybe you'd realize this was coming. It's gonna be 5 weeks soon. 5 weeks that we haven't talked. Did I cross your mind at all? Or was I chalked up to just another friend and left behind? I don't care anymore 베. You gave me back my life, you made me feel again. I guess I should be thankful for that. Did you ever know that I loved you? Could you ever tell? these tears will dry completely as time passes by. It would hurt less if we hadn't met at all. I told you my favourite Korean song, hoping you'd make the connection between the lyrics and how I felt. I didn't mind getting called random by you, I just told you. Wedding dress, let's break up, where u at, haru haru, lies. If only you figured it out. If only I had the courage to tell you. Would this have ended up differently?

2010-06-09T11:25:00.002+08:00

just went to read Gwen's blog, and i have to say, i'm pretty amazed that she remembered the day i gave her the pictures of Arshavin and Nasri! Although it wasn't exactly how it happened, but i'm still amazed. Hahah, usually i'm the one remembering stuff xD

and hmmm, my followers on twitter have been exploding recently. Wonder why. Hahah.

2010-06-05T23:44:00.004+08:00

kay, since i was so dang happy today, i decided to blog :D

today was SDD(guides) so we had to go to Henderson Sec for it. I was sitting with Nicole, Tricia, Xiaowei, Sam and Jolin, when guess who i saw? SHAWTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. so of course, i was like, :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD then i was like, "SHAWTY!" then she started turning around looking for me. when she saw me, she waved like crazy and went, "Hey tall!" HAHAHAHHAH (: *good joke good joke* then after that, she was sitting somewhere near me, when she called me to come over. so after that I sat next to her while we talked. cant rmb what we said, but i remember it being damn funny. oh, its about her height ;) kekeke. then I was joking around with Evan, Esther and Neena. ESTHER CUT HER HAIR HAHAHAHHAHAHAH that explains why i couldn't recognise her at once.

then after that, shawty kept sitting around me, idk why. then whenever i caught her staring at me, she'd go =P then i'd start smiling(cant help it, this girl is like sunny, aegyo ttm man) then after that she'd smile too. AND GIVE ME THAT CUTE EYE SMILE. HAHAHAHHAHAHAH. (ahhhhhh, now saying eye smile makes me think of Tiffany and Taeyang ;) but i digress) srsly, her eyes would like narrow and then curve downwards slightly.

NOW THAT'S AN EYE SMILE. okay, so maybe that doesn't show the attractiveness of an eye smile. let me show you using Tiffany.

Cute, no? (: im a sucker for eye smiles myself, mainly cuz I look at the eyes first before looking at the rest of the face. kekeke. alright, enough about eye smiles.

Then i was playing captain's ball against, CRESCENT GIRLS. oh great. srsly, this team is bloody scary. They are super violent. one of xiaowei's friend was playing hockey against them, and her leg was red due to crescent girls hitting her with the stick. like wtf right -.- but ah wells. we lost. pretty badly. they had slightly more then double our score of 5 =/ but what cheered me up slightly was while walking back to our seats, shawty was standing in the opposite court(she played both captain's ball and hockey) saying, "Go Cheryl, go Cheryl!" HAHAHAHAHAH, srsly, that girl can be sweet when she wants to, just that sometimes, she acts like a little kid :D

so anyway, when shawty's team was playing Captain's ball, shawty slipped and hit her back against the leg of the table. almost ran over to her when i saw that. but she immediately got back up and took the ball from me(It flew to my side) and shouted, "im okay" back at me when I yelled asking if she was okay. im still kinda worried about that girl, but i guess she's fine, cuz at the end of it all during the prize giving, she got first place for captain's ball and another position for hockey. and then she was like running and jumping up and down the steps. hahahah, hyperactive little girl.

OH YEAH, HOW COULD I FORGET THE MOST IMPT ONE. she got up from in front of me and was about to walk back to her seat, but then she reached out to pat my head. BIG MISTAKE LOL. I grabbed her wrist and looked up at her. then we were like...

S: Eh let go! I'm older then you!
Me: Who's taller?
S: *struggles to get free as I hold onto both her wrists*
Me: *Pulls her slightly towards me. Stops struggling at this point*
Random friend: Hahahah, Jervina! She's taller la!
Me: Hahahahhahahahah. *lets her go*

thinking back on it, i think it looked damn wrong to others. cuz i was like pulling her towards me while holding on to her hands. maybe i should have hugged her from behind to make her chua tio and stop struggling. LOL then make the audience chua tio also. free show leh LOL. hmmmm, but weird. from what i saw from hockey and captain's ball, she's DAMN strong, like srsly, damn strong. but she couldn't(or is it didn't want to?) make me let go of her hands. huh. weird. oh wells.

had fun today. like duh, if not i wouldn't be blogging. hope you guys had fun today too ;)

2010-06-04T21:41:00.002+08:00

okay, emo post so, dont read.

i miss you. its been a month. did i even cross your mind once during this period of time? i wonder if you even bother coming here to read what i write. probably not. i wonder if you figured out alr. i wonder if she told you the truth. maybe she did. i think she did. its been a MONTH. we've never gone this long without talking before. but then and again, what should i hope for, when i was always the one starting the conversation right? do you know, i counted the number of times you took the initiative to talk to me, and lets just say, i can count them on ONE hand? sigh. im really tired. just take a look at my life, one look, and you can tell how badly im falling apart right now without you here by my side.

2010-05-30T11:46:00.001+08:00

Idk when you will come by my blog again, but I might as well just say this and let you see it when you do.

read your blog(s) earlier today, and hey, no need to thank me. You're like, one of the most impt people in my life, even though sometimes we argue over stupid things like you-know-who and all, but hey, you still mean as much to me as anyone else. It's easier to express my feelings to you then it'd be to, say Quin or birdy. You might not be as agree-able as Quin, but you keep me grounded to reality, instead of fueling my dreams. Since you were there for me since Y, don't you think I should be with you when this happens?

yeah okay, after reading this, I think I talk too much too. Anyway, in summary, I'll be here for you, anytime, and don't ever give up on what you think is right. To quote 제시카, "follow your heart". Amazingly astute isn't she? Another reason to love her. But then and again, I'd gladly choose you over her anyday. 힘내야지, Gwen, have strength to get you through this period. Don't forget, your friends will always be here for you. ♥

2010-05-27T09:36:00.002+08:00

kay, short blog post cuz i need to update my stories. going to malaysia later in the afternoon, so expect it to be dead. well, it alr is. bye

2010-05-19T21:16:00.002+08:00

well, if you people don't alr know, im going to OBS. ms chew says im the new cca leader, but, ah well, apparently, im not. so idk who to believe. i think i should call debbie later on. no, i'll call her now. hang onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. ah well, guess im not. hah. ah wells. that's a good thing.

and now, TIME TO OBSESS ABOUT J. OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO obsessed. like totally! BTH, really cannot take it. seeing pictures are like omgggggggggggwtf. k i shall devote my attention to other stuff now.

2010-05-12T13:12:00.003+08:00

Aye, I know that recently I haven't been blogging much, and what I do post, are like bloody emo shaitz. I'm sorry for making ppl worry for me, especially ANDRE TAI(: I didn't know he read all my tweets, even the one at 1 smth in the morning, and he immediately asked if I was okay after that.

Yes, I won't worry you ppl anymore. I'm kinda satisfied with life without x alr. Case in point, today. Went out with Shan, Xiaowei, Daryl, Andre, Mingxuan and Eric for lunch at mac. We were one of the two noisiest groups there, watching soccer. Well, me, Eric and Andre were. The others were just playing with Mx's itouch and talking. I had fun with them, especially Eric la, it's damn fun to tease Shan and her "kaki". Hee. And Eric also, "friend friend nia" LOL. Aye, it was damn funny. especially watching the soccer match, then we started commenting along with the batch of guys from monfort or someother sch. Yeahhhh, that's the main highlight of my day. So see, I'm fine without x. Altho I don't know if I'm saying that just to convince myself or whether I mean it. Hah. Either way, it makes no difference(:

2010-05-07T17:07:00.002+08:00

500th post. I think its time for me to start listening to gwen... and give you up. I'll miss you, but if that's what you wanted by not replying me, then your wish is fulfilled.

you should be happy if you're like this. these tears will dry completely as time goes by.

2010-04-29T15:41:00.003+08:00

One day, everything will just come out. I'm alr sick of hiding how I really feel. It'll all just come out, this anger, this pain. I don't think I have anymore love left to give. That ship has passed me by after y. No more. Everyone are hypocrites. Say one thing and mean another. Me, I guess I'm a bigger hypocrite then most. Always saying it's okay, it's alright, when in reality, I don't feel alright or okay. But I ain't got the guts to admit it. It does hurt, but what's alittle pain when I get to see you smile? When I get to stand so close behind you or reach out and touch you or just stare at you openly to see where you've changed? I'd gladly suffer through the fires of hell if I could just have you. If only I could.

2010-04-25T20:20:00.002+08:00

I really feel damn what now. I'm missing coconut like idk what. Suddenly thought of her ~~last night~~ this morning while I was on the phone with Gwen. Talked for a pretty long time with Gwen, around 2 and a half hours? Yeah I think so. I really wish she'd let me go see him tho, so I can make him pay.
Oh wells. On a happier note, I finally downloaded Eenie Meenie, Run Devil Run and Jojo! Awesome, Eenie Meenie's on my most played playlist after less then 24 hours xD I'm gonna stay up tonight to watch jersey shore. Totally can't wait for today's episode :DDDD I just love Jersey Shore. The romance and the clubbing is like... Hahah. Ah wells, nothing more to say except...

HAPPY 23 BIRTHDAY PARK JAEBEOM! 사랑해요 Jae oppa! Stay healthy and strong oppa! (:

2010-04-23T18:37:00.002+08:00

napfa wasn't so bad.

Standing Broad Jump: 187 cm (i'll get 200 next year)

Sit Ups: 44

IPU: 18 (WTH. what happened to my 21? tsk)

Sit And Reach: 39 (i think)

Shuttle Run: 10.3

okay la, can get gold. so whatever ba. and im sick. wonderful -.- my throat's killing me.

do you know you're killing me inside? 사랑해, 배.

2010-04-17T22:30:00.002+08:00

went to mx's bbq earlier. just bathed to try and get out the smell of smoke from my clothes and hair, yes it worked. but whenever i breathe out from my nose, i can smell it. ewwwww. i inhaled too much smoke from the fire while blowing on it (yes, me and the scouts put our training to good use. WE REVIVED THE FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEE.)

well, me, yikai, benedict (:DDDDDD awesome guy friend~!) and bryan were the ones cooking mainly, the rest slacked and waited for the food to come to them. well TOO BAD PPL. we ate most of it, only after we were full then we started cooking for them. hey, i know its mean, but look at it this way. its a barbecue. nobody aint gonna cook for you dude. you cook for yourself, or starve. okay, i know i cooked for them, but only for the girls, and dexter. well, cause i consider him a girl. LOL. no la, cuz he asked me to. so yalor.

had fun with the 3 guys, i was totally territorial. "get. out. of. my. space. its MY place." LOL. cooked satay (LOADS OF THEM) and crabsticks and prawns and cuttlefish and sausages and fishballs.

the food was awesome, had an awesome time with everyone, smashing the awesome cinderella(LOL) cake on mx was awesome. basically, tonight was an awesome night(: teehee. okay, that sounded like the end of my post. BUT IT ISN'T! (: yikai A.K.A honey prawn (old joke from last year's bbq) cooked his FAMOUS honey prawns again!!! thus me calling him honey prawn xD then, he cooked sambal prawns, honey prawns, and SAMBAL AND HONEY PRAWNS. awesome creativity, honey prawn (:

heehee. then they spammed butter on the stuff, so we ended up running out of butter. alright, i confess, i did spam butter, just not on the food. did you guys know that when you smear butter over the wire mesh covering the bbq pit, the butter melts(everyone knows this... i hope) and then, (WAIT FOR IT WAIT FOR IT!) ... ... ... ... THE FIRE EXPLODES. LOL. okay, maybe i exaggerated it. it doesn't explode. just grows VERY big, for a short period of time. so yeahhhhhhhh, i remembered it from last year(except last year was with honey) and we SPAMMED BUTTER LIKE CRAZY xD pssst, dont tell nicole, she's convinced we smeared it on the food and made it damn oily, so she was complaining about it. anything for a laugh right, guys? hahah.

uhhhhhhhhhh, OH OH OH, and yikai went to spam sambal belachan(or however you spell it) on the pork, so when ben ate it, his face went O_O then he ran to get a coke. HAHAHHAHAHAH. omg, ben is just too cute la can. ohhhhhhhhhhh and speaking of ben, i need to thank him. i had to rush home due to my curfew, and then i wanted to take a cab, but i had no money. so he gave me his allowance to cab back. awwwwwwwwww. really am thankful. thanks so so so so so so much, man (:

then we went to cut the cake. keli came from behind and smashed the CINDERELLA cake onto mx's head. lol! this is one of the many reasons i dont ask ppl to celebrate my birthday with me. heh. AND WTF i just found a blister on my hand from the charcoal popping and sparks flew onto my hand. ugh. painful painful! and i just peeled off the skin after bursting the blister. eeeeeeeee. omg ad for shutter island on tv now! I WANT WATCHHHHHHHHHHHH. alright, guess that's it then. enjoyed tonight! (: awesomeness. alright, off to sms ben now.

2010-04-15T18:36:00.000+08:00

k nothing much to post. Will post after i go to mx's bbq this saturday. Hopefully gwen's free tmr so i can go get some clothes!!!

2010-04-11T17:09:00.000+08:00

494th post. And i'm using my phone again, so please bear with my long paragraph. My mum can just go to hell man. Idk wth she said to gwen last night, but today she come kpkb me along with my grandmother. Ask if its right to ground me until may -.- whatever man, damn idiot right, what you expect me say to that. So whatever lor, loser. Then i'm glad my brother was playing the violin. And now they're threatening to call my dad -.- whatever, just ground me more. Like anything can get worse then sec1's grounding. Oh yeah, this can, cuz that time i was just grounded for going out without telling them and this time is cuz i got back home at 12.30. Aiya, whatever la, srsly. The only thing i regret is not being able to go to mx's birthday party. Parents are all hypocrites. That's pretty much all i gotta say about it. Now i understand how gwen felt when she wanted to leave her house. Too bad we're not 21 yet, or we could just leave, get a job and won't ever have to put up with our parents' bullshit anymore. I'm looking forward to leaving, really looking forward. Cant wait to go to canada with quin.

2010-04-10T11:01:00.000+08:00

blogging from my phone now, so expect a long paragraph. Firstly, happy belated birthday to Gwendolyn Neo Yuan Qi(: going out with her later, and i can say that i'm really excited LOL. Anyways, nothing much, had sports day ytd, and i was on prize giving duty, so i could slack for an hour or so. Then things got really messy, they changed the sequence and trophies got mixed up. Oh wells, i hope they got it straightened out. Then went back home, and slept for 3 hours, after spamming gwen like crazy :DDDD awesomeness(:

2010-04-03T17:38:00.002+08:00

kay, decided to blog on my april fools day. concidentially it fell on speech day, so mingxuan just felt the URGE to prank me, telling me to report to sch at 6.30AM. and being the gullible IDIOT i am, i told andre the same. thankfully, the sjab girl told him otherwise, and from him, me. oh, have i mentioned how badly mx is gonna die on his birthday party? just you wait. and then, after slacking for a while, we decided to prank ppl. it was really hilarious too. hahahha

Me: Got something to tell you. Don't freak out kay?

V: About what first?

Me: Uhhh, you and me. Idk how to tell you this.

V: Hmm then don't say it. well haha i don't wanna freak

Me: Nvm, its hard to keep this secret, but i got to tell you this sooner or later. I think i like you.

V: Well that's good i mean if you had negative feelings we wouldn't be friends right haha (first time i've seen her not use any punctuation in a sms, i think she got pretty stunned at this point. LOL)

Me: No, the feelings i ahve for you are not of that kind, but more then just friends. I don't know how it happened, but it just did.

V: Well you know I can't do anything about it right?

Me: Yeah i know. But you won't have to do anything, cuz this is just an april fool's joke. Hahahahah, happy april fool's!

BWAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAAHHAH. V really believed me :DDDDDD time for gwen.

Me: Ehhhhhh i got something to tell you.

Gwen: What? What happened?? O.o

Me: Idk how to tell you this. I think i got feelings for you. My feelings for x kinda feels faded alr.

Gwen: Wow. That's quite sudden. Why the sudden thing about your feelings for x fading?

Me: Idk, the feeling i got wasn't the kind of feeling i got last time when i saw x.

then gwen didn't reply me cuz she was at work, then i called her, and i forgot what we talked about lol. caier's one was the most hilarious.

Me: Eh i got something to tell you.

CE: Sry for late reply..wat u wan tell me? (gee, her smsing skills really suck. LOL)

Me: I don't know how to tell you this. I think i like you.

CE: Haha..i oso like u as my junior.:) (at this point i was wtf-ing. DUDE, FIRST ONE THINKS IS FRIEND LIKE, AND THIS ONE THINKS ITS SENIOR-JUNIOR LIKE. WTF MAN)

Me: No no i mean like you, as in like like you.

CE: Y u telling me tis? U playing truth n dare in class now izit? Anw thank u. (WTF WTF WTF LOL)

Me: Hahah, your reaction not fun one! No la. Today's april fool's day mah, so i decided to prank some girls by telling them i like them in the guy like girl way hahhahhah. But you so slow la! Think im tlaking about friends way -.- hahahah.

CE: Haha..i smarter den u think okay. Old ready ma.sure slower:) but i like it. Haha.

Me: Hahah, i do love you la, just not in the boy like girl kinda way. hahah! in the senior junior kinda way :DDDDD

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD i know this is kinda late, but happy april fool's, and i hope you ppl had loads of fun pranking others! i know i did xD

2010-03-26T20:40:00.002+08:00

back from camp! :DDDD best camp ever, really. had so much fun that so many ppl cried today. well. i almost did :S lol.

first day: arrived there and got settled. loads of ppl didn't bring plates, so they had to give up styrofoam plates and stuff, then we had to reuse them :O the plates still remained damn oily cuz there were some kp trainers that went, "DIP AND GO DIP AND GO." ehhh pls la, dip and go then what, of course the oil and stuff wont get cleaned off right. so in retribution, when that trainer came to wash her mess tin, i was like, "DIP AND GO PLEASE." LOL. last year's trainers were better, not so guailan. srsly man, some trainers this year was like... nvm. had paintball after lunch. changed to my sweatshirt and jeans. YAY THEY DIDN'T GET STAINED WITH PAINT. hahahah. got shot in the hip, just slightly under the pocket of the jeans. but no paint. wonder why. anyway, we were in small groups, so we could have two rounds. so the game went like this, one person would run to the DMZ, de-militarilized zone, and put on the gears and run back to the starting point. so tan hui li insisted on running for the first round, but when it ended, i looked around and she was squatting near me, not even in the DMZ. so after that, i ran for the second round. i was using a guy's gun btw, cuz a girl, cant rmb who, was using it and complained it was too heavy. so i swapped my girl's gun for hers. running was super exhausting, cuz i had to carry the ultra heavy gun :O but i still made it, and i got a muddy patch on my knee, cux i went down on it and slid under the cordons(those tapes you see in CSI, just that its white, not yellow), threw my gun aside and then struggled to put it on. it wasn't easy, cuz we had this bulky safety vest on that really was damn obstructive. but eventually managed it and ran back to grab my gun and run back. and YAY i managed to run back first before the other girl ran back hahahhahahhhahahah. so it was a draw =/ cuz the first round was won by the other team. oh wells! it was fun xD

second day: food was awesome at night. fish and chips! lol. had two things today, but i sat out the water activites cuz shan couldn't go in. so being the good friend i am (xD), i lied and sat out with her too. LOL. kityin also. we were like teasing him.

Me: Kityin, you got menses ah!
KY: yah yah. no la, dizzy.
Shan: HAHAHHAHAHAHHAH KITYIN GOT MENSES.

:DDDD funny ttm. anyways, then had lunch, then kayaking! kayaking was AWESOME. wanted to capsize, but tanhuili didn't cuz the water was dirty. had to get my shoes wet to pull the kayak out of the water after the whole thing, and damn, the kayak was bloody heavy. not to mention i kept going back to help others. LOL. shan and jinli were damn funny. they couldn't carry it, and it dropped onto my foot. lol. then i pekchek go and help them.

then had campfire preps. chinese dancers had choreographed a dance to bad romance, so... hahahah, damn, it was great to dance. totally awesome. lol. campfire was awesome too. hakim, adrian and another guy was dancing with lightsticks so the effects were like... just say they probably got alot of respect from that dance alone. i know i did. lol. kays, tired alr. shall go sleep soon. continue this post someother time.

2010-03-15T17:35:00.000+08:00

fucking nonchalant.

2010-03-15T17:29:00.000+08:00

i don't get how ppl can be so fucking nonchalant about others. I really don't.

2010-03-15T14:17:00.002+08:00

kays, blog about my camp. was supposed to report at school at 8am. but xiaowei told me 7.30, so i woke up at like, 5.30 instead of 6.30. SHE CHEATED ME OF ONE HOUR OF SLEEP! -.- then after that, had briefings and all, then split into patrols, and then sat down to do the patrol identity shit. AND HOLYSMOKES I JUST REALISED MY MOTHER HAS A TWIITER ACCOUNT. okay, sorry i sidetracked. uhhhhhhhhh, then then thennnn. shit. i dont rmb what we did after that. played alot of lame games la. honey i love you, duck duck goose, and idk whatelse. so after that had lunch and all. camp food this year was real sucky. totally not worth the 11 bucks we all paid. plus the fact i had to eat my meds after meals and it made me real sleepy, camp wasn't all that fun.

but then after that we did the manito thingy, and i got cai er! :DDDDDD made me real happy. hahahhaha, i mean, what's the chance of me getting ahma in like, over 30 ppl? 1/30! at least i think so :O hahhahah, okay, but more to the point, is more cuz i didn't really wanna get the sec1s, or i think the whole point would be ruined, cuz you're supposed to write good and encouraging msgs, but i only can find bad points with majority of the sec1s.

feel like raging when i think about them. cuz of their attitudes, the planning and stuff was screwed up. then me and tricia got so pissed that we gave up and told joey about them. okay, at first it was debbie, then joey came, then everybody wanted to know what happened while yanying shoo-ed them away. its only a matter of time before ppl get pissed at them, srsly.

even joey couldn't take it and ended up shouting at them. ask them nicely, don't want to answer. only when threaten to knock them down then shout. only when threaten to not give them dinner then ask for permission. wth is this man? -.- this is a uniform group, and its a training camp, not a vacation.

what's more is that they didn't even get it half as bad as us. complain that they're hungry and the teacher tells joey to let us go eat. what about when we're in sec1? PT at 9PM at night and we haven't even eaten dinner. they should be bloody grateful that they aren't the ones to endure the camp we had to. and yet, as much as i hated the seniors for the camp in sec1. i finally understand why its necessary. its cuz ppl like this year's sec1s exist.

THEY ARE SPOILT BRATS OKAY.

complain about the camp food, dont even bother to reply us, and when joey confronted that joycelyn, it was like,

Joey: If you ask us a question, would you like it if we answer you with a yes or no? same thing, we also-
Joycelyn: Yes.
Joey: What? You would like it if we answer with a yes or no?
Joycelyn: Yes.
Tricia: Even if you like to get those kind of answer, you also have to accomodate others, we are your seniors you know.
Joey: Not say accomodate, but... *trying to find the right word*
Me: You have to take into consideration how others feel. It's not just you alone. We are your seniors you know, and you have to give the proper respect.
Joey: Yeah. Everybody has to give in alittle.

then continued about the whole thing. we wasted close to an hour cuz of them la can? -.- then after that, went back. then had dinner, and the sec1s and 2s got scolded again -.- this time cuz they didn't shout loud enough for permission to enter the foodhouse/canteen. so we went in first and waited for them. and then we all chua tio then joey, yanying and debbie shouted at them and scolded them. good for them.

srsly, i find that the training camp in sec1 is the most effective way to train all of them to be more disciplined. no sense of emergency at all. they should be glad we didn't have the fire drill this year. if not they'd probably freak and we'd get punished cuz they would make us all late. srsly. they're like the last ones to roll up their sleeping bags and all when we got woken up by the seniors at 6am for morning drills. (FYI, drills = marching)

then after that, we drilled until breakfast, then had a few games again. then had outdoor cooking for lunch. not that bad ba. joey will definitely make it for the outdoor woodsman course. she managed to make our fire DAMN big. then we cooked noodles, eggs, sausages and campbell soup. not bad, quite filling, then when the others were slacking in the classroom or washing the messtins in the toilet, i was outside talking to andreas, putri and someone else i forgot while holding cai er's hand. yes i do love cai er('s hand xD). hahahhahahah. then after that, dinner and everything, then cai er had to go home =/ sad, but then something funny happened. cuz we had to sing a manito song while walking around a circle and taking our manitos, we had to learn the manito song. and it sounded damn wrong LOL. it was like,

I love my manito yes i do
I love my manito yes i do
I love my manito yes i do
I love my manito but i won't tell who
I get a feeling warm and gay, as she cast her eyes my way ( :O :O :O :O LOL)
I will reveal her name someday, but who she is i will not say (doesn't this sound damn contradictory? O_O)
I love my manito yes i do
I love my manito yes i do
I love my manito yes i do
I love my manito but i won't tell who.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL. make us sound like homos when we were singing it! alrighttttttttttttt. guess im done. and i needa go prepare for later, so bye.

2010-03-11T19:59:00.002+08:00

okay back to blog about that person -.-

kay srsly, time for this to happen.

i know you aint gonna read this, but still. im gonna write.

listen up kay. first, i deleted that humilating post on fb, not cuz im guilty or whatever shit.

but cuz i didn't want you to get identified and then flamed by my friends.

you said you don't care, but i know you do.

secondly, i'm a NO LIFER? IM A NO LIFER?

i think you're confused. you're the one who's the no lifer.

i guess that's it. misunderstandings are the cause of all this.

so i guess, i cant do anything about it.

2010-03-10T19:45:00.000+08:00

srsly, ppl who like to make assumptions on other ppl's lives deserve to be killed. I shall flame that person when i can use the com.

2010-03-10T13:32:00.001+08:00

2010-03-09T22:03:00.001+08:00

I know that it'll pretty much be impossible to have you, but I'm still hoping. Stay with me, alright?

2010-03-07T10:56:00.001+08:00

pancakes with quin later. Shiokness(:

2010-03-06T23:49:00.001+08:00

<3 you

2010-03-01T18:16:00.002+08:00

http://pds16.egloos.com/pds/201001/31/33/c_33.swf – A fancam of the Hanami CF behind the scenes. Taec dumps all his bags in Jay’s arms and leaves. wooyoung glances at him, but doesn’t help.

http://file.beautynet.co.kr/updata3/BBS/FreeBoard/1267354095_m.JPG – Jay sleeps in the corner by himself with no blanket underneath, just a pillow.

http://i48.tinypic.com/30df28x.png – photos of the members with girls / at clubs & trashed gifts from fans

http://video.nate.com/211002229 – Khun being ignored by the other members and later gets called “Kwon” when they leave him

Junsu, Junho and Wooyoung always complained whenever Jay told them they had to go practice after a performance.

When the boys were doing Again & Again, JYP used to call individual members for a talk whenever they made a mistake.
Then he called Jaebeom and said things like “You bastard, this went wrong cuz of you. You’re the leader.” and so on.
Then Jaebeom would tell the members “We should try harder and do a better job” and they just joked around and refused to listen.

After Jay’s controversy, they planned on making a Wild Bunny Season 2 but it never happened.
A Wild Bunny writer said that Junho’s a real jerk, Chansung’s completely different when the camera’s off,
Taec’s actually kinda smart and not as stupid as he seems but an ass, and Junsu’s not that close with the members.

When Jay didn’t have a scheduled event, he always went to practice or to the gym.
In between, he takes breaks and goes to Smoothie King.
He always ordered drinks and added protein.
He cares for his body and doesn’t smoke or drink.
He doesn’t even like coffee. Yet, there were rumors that the “privacy matter” concerns problems with drugs.
Even the stalkers cant find anything wrong with his private life.
He was the cleanest idol group member ever. Honestly, no one can be as clean as him.
When others went to the club to celebrate birthdays, he didn’t go.

While they were trainees, Taecyeon, Junho, Kwon and Jay went to a Korean restaurant together.
Jay couldn’t eat anything because he still couldn’t adjust to the food here.
Then Junho and Taec said “Wtf, you’re Korean but you can’t even eat the food?”
Because they said that, Jay tried to eat the food and threw up.
They kept working him up by saying more things.
Jay kept eating more and threw up more.
Kwon felt bad for him so he bought him a burger.
Taec and Junho said “Why did you buy that for him? You should just let him starve.”

Kwon has been by Jay’s side since the beginning. even now he says that he gets teary thinking about Jay.
Fans say that they dont even think Kwon knew anything about this “scandal.” (Obviously because there is no scandal.)

Kwon and Khun were the only honest, whole-hearted ones.
There’s no such thing as OneDay.
Kwon was also warned that the 2AM album better do well or else…
Why do you think the “Jaebeom is permanently out of JYPE” articles got published on the day 2AM got 1st on the music chart?
They’re trying to kill 2AM too.
If 2AM rebels against JYPE, that’s a whole new problem so it’s like a team kill.

The only person who is clean in 2PM besides Jay is Khun.

Wooyoung hasn’t been affected by Jay’s departure.
We heard he kept crying for Jay but he cried because he was dumped by his girlfriend.
Wooyoung, the guy who insisted that he has never dated, isn’t really all that innocent.
He had a new girlfriend right when Jay left, and he has another new one now.
On his Cyworld diary when he wrote something like ‘I really miss you,’ he was talking about his girlfriend.
How funny would he have found the fans who left comments like “We miss Jay too!”

Taec’s brought girl idols and sasaeng fans to the dorm late at night to sleep with them.
He has the dirtiest “private life” and the most twisted girl relationships.

After the vacation time in January, a fan was on the same train heading up to Seoul as wooyoung. (she found out his train time on purpose.) He was on the phone the whole train ride. The fan asked for a signature and he gave one. She asked for a picture and said he wasnt allowed to. zthe fan listened to the phone call and Wooyoung was talking to his girlfriend who was probably a trainee because he said things like ‘Hurry up and debut, I’m at the top right now. I’ll be waiting for you at the top so hurry up and debut.’

From a sasaeng fan:
This was when JYP said the boys won’t appear in programs after Jay left.
We were the only ones by their house and heard Junho, Khun and Chansung.
We were hiding behind a car and watching carefully when we sort of heard Junho and Chansung laugh. Khun was kind of smiling too but we couldn’t really see and hear.
Then they got closer and we could hear their voice.

Chansung: Hahahaha, it’s fucking funny.
Junho: Be quiet, what if they’re here? (referring to sasaeng fans)
Chansung: Fuck, what the hell? Even at this time? So annoying.
Khun: ….Fan? (frowning slightly, didn’t quite understand what they were talking about)
Chansung: Eh, I don’t know~ It’s cold let’s go inside!
Khun: Did you just talk about our fans? (Sounds angry, he just understood that the two boys were laughing and talking about fans. Khun was smiling cuz he thought they were joking about other things)
Then Junho slammed Khun’s head with the 1.5 liter plastic bottle in his hand that had some soft drink left inside.
Khun was like “Ah! What was that?” and Junho laughed his head off.
It could’ve been a joke but Khun was upset and rubbing his head when Chansung joined in the laughter.
I really like Khun so I unconsciously said “Ah!…” and Junho saw us.
He said “Oh fuck…” and cursed the fans quietly to himself and they all hurried inside.
(P.S. in Thai culture, the head is very sacred. Parents get annoyed when people even pat their kids’ on the head. And Junho hit Khun on the head with a freaking plastic bottle. -_-)

During their trainee days Taec called Jay a Yankee (this is a common deragatory word Koreans use for Americans) because he couldnt eat Korean food or speak Korean. He and Chansung said things like that when walking out of a restaraunt and as soon as Jay walked out, they quickly linked arms with him and laughed and pretended to be friendly.

Taec and Junsu hit Khun a lot.

A fan met Wooyoung and Junho at a club. They went into a room with girls who were known to be sluts. Who knows what they did in there.

When 2PM was doing “10 out of 10″ Junho used to order all the food that Jay couldn’t eat.

during a recording of a music show, a fan saw a rookie group being ignored by junsu.

From someone whose uncle works for JYPE:
Their whole “image” was “beast idols who are really a bunch of stupid cute funny boys.”
However, it was all an act. Taec with his teeth and Wooyoung as the cutie?
All an act. (Wow, they are great actors then. They’ve fooled probably over 500,000 fans worldwide.)

When Junho held seven fingers and the fans thought it was for Jay, he said “I was just holding the mic” Taecyeon responded to that saying “you guys [the fans] just created the whole story”

Junho complained that Jaebeom used a lot of closet space. (There is a video of this.)
He was the one who cleaned out Jaebeom’s things when he left.
A fan went to Seattle to visit Jay and give him winter clothes.
The fan said “I don’t know if Jay will like these clothes” and his mother said “Jay always likes what his fans give him. He’ll make good use of the clothes. He didn’t get to bring many clothes from Korea…”

During a music stage, after G-Dragon won an award (probably one of the weekly music chart or something like that) he went around bowing to everyone. He even bowed to Junsu, who walked right past him. It seemed like a mistake and that Junsu was really saying hi to someone else and didn’t see, but the people Junsu was walking towards didn’t even see him. GD was a little surprised but just turned to his fans and smiled.

During School of Rock, Taec and Chansung got phone numbers of college girls. Taec texted her a few times and stopped. Chansung changed his number.

While Chansung was doing High Kick, there was a friend who lived closeby him and they saw each other often. After Chansung’s popularity rose from high kick, he started ignoring that friend and even physically pushed him/her away. Once High Kick ended and his popularity kinda died down, Chansung saw that same friend again and called their name and ran towards them and acted super friendly. The friend screamed and ran away.

The new album was named 1:59 to signify a new beginning without Jay.
It wasn’t to show that Jay was missing or that they were waiting for him.

“My friend is a club addict. We went to a club together one night and met Junho and Wooyoung. People say that the two go to clubs a lot. That night we got to hang out together. My friend is pretty and has a nice body. She had a one night stand with Jang Wooyoung. She was always a fan of Wooyoung and after that night she’s more of a fan.”

After Jay left, for a pretty long amount of time, Wooyoung never smiled or looked happy on music programs or during Inkigayo. Sasaengs found this out by following him around. They couldn’t go inside the waiting rooms, so instead they just put their ear to the door. They could barely hear anything else than Wooyoung’s loud laughter. As soon as he opened the door and came out, his face looked serious and sad.

When Chansung was young (underage), he used to date an ulzzang named Jo EunAe.
Alcohol and cigarettes were a given and the two slept together.
Jo EunAe doesn’t really keep secrets and even left while hanging out with friends in the morning because Chansung wanted to ‘do it.’
How can he possibly talk badly about Jay’s “privacy matters” when he can’t even take care of his own.

The day Jay’s controversy started Wooyoung and Junho got drunk together and told Jay to fuck off.
The two also said to Jay ‘our lives are ruined because of you.’ Wooyoung hasnt apologized. Junho has.

Khun used to have a girlfriend in Thailand until “Again & Again.”
When he had a hard time when Jay left, it wasn’t because of Jay but because of a break-up. He knows how good-looking he is and loves being treated like royalty.
But he is still the best one out of 6PM. Oh, but he smokes.

When Wooyoung says he has never had a girlfriend, it’s the biggest bullshit.
In high school, he used to date a girl from a nearby school.
He was really happy when Jay left because that meant more parts for him.
He LOVES girls and shows it. After Jay left he went on countless “meetings” with girls and has a girlfriend currently.
His personality makes one speechless.
He has had fillers in his nose twice and gets injected often.
Yet he acts like he has never had plastic surgery…

Junho almost got kicked out of JYP because of his attitude. He’s a jerk and he acts tough.
But on Strong Heart, he cried and made up some fancy story.
When the Myspace incident broke out, Wooyoung and Junho went to Jay and said “You ruined our lives! Fuck off!” Junho apologized but Wooyoung never did.
He also had a filler in his nose. His nose was really flat without it.
He often makes crude, sexual jokes to ladies.
Since his debut, he’s had a girlfriend nicknamed ‘Deer’ who he’s thanked in the first and second albums

Junsu has nothing to say about “privacy matters” either.
He loves clubbing and girls.
He always begs YangGeng (2NE1 stylist) and GD to meet with him and introduce him to more people. G-Dragon usually looks down on Junsu and isn’t that close with him.
Junsu was one of the happiest when Jaebeom left.
He went out shopping with friends and showed off that he might even have a solo now that Jaebeom was gone.

On the day Jaebeom left, the 2PM house was really loud with music
and there seemed to be a party. The girls who lived nearby joked and said
“Maybe they’re actually happy about Jay’s departure.” It was true.

After the second time “Again & Again” got first on Mnete, 2PM celebrated and went to a club.
Jaebeom came to the door but said he’ll go to the gym instead.
Taecyeon and Junsu gave him a lot of shit…
Jaebeom came back to pick the boys up after working out�and talked to the people nearby while drinking Vita 500 (vitamin supplement).
A friend I know worked as valet parking and saw him give people his autograph and say “I shouldn’t go inside.. I ruin the mood.” and that he really wa Jaebeom of 2PM.
The friend asked him “Where were you?”
Jay said “I worked out.. and ate dinner”
This is why I trust Jay.
Then the boys came out of the club drunk as hell.
When the manager came to pick them up he asked Jay, “Were you here all this time? Why didn’t you call?”
Jay said something like “Yeah… I thought you guys might be tired…”

In the a&a days, on Star Golden Bell, Jay asked,
“The members don’t listen to me.. What can i do do make my team listen to me?”
No one knew he was actually serious.

Junsu had a scandal with a Thai artist (Waii. a minor.) Junsu denied the scandal so much that fans just shielded him. Too bad there’s a picture, Junsu (: �http://i46.tinypic.com/9iraz4.jpg

Wooyoung said in front of fans ‘Jaebeom’s not even coming back why are you even doing stuff like this? why are you sympathizing with Park Jaebeom that mo****f***er.’ Kwon got fed up and went to a cafe with him and told him ‘You cant be like this’ while they ate green tea shaved ice. Wooyoung said ‘fine’ and told him to buy him some ice cream.

“It was my friend’s birthday so we got a room in a club to party. 2PM was there and they had a room too. I didn’t know at first but their backs looked familiar and I realized it was 2PM. I took a picture first but then I realized that the leader wasnt there. They had a lot of fun. I watched them more and they all went to the first floor and drank and danced some more. My friend is a good dancer. She did some waves and it felt like people were staring at her so we looked and it was 2PM… One of the tall members came and started dancing with her and the other members danced with us too. We just danced together and they said they had fun and went back into their room.

Said by someone who used to be a sasaeng fan for Wonder Girls. She knew 6PM before they made their debut:

Taecyeon
1. Dirtiest lifestyle
2. Not close to male idol groups. Everyone hates Taec besides OneDay.
3. Only close to girl groups (knows the phone numbers of most of them)
4. When he’s happy he’s real nice but when he’s mad he spits at sasaeng fans and more.

Junsu
My friend was eating ramen in front of the 2PM apartment and Junsu came out.
Friend: “Hi oppa.”
Junsu: “Yeah.”
Friend: “Oppa, how’s your vocal practicing going?”
Junsu: “That doesn’t concern you. Just eat your ramen or some shit.”
Friend’s friend: “That’s a bit harsh”
Junsu: “In the time you use to care for me, erase your makeup.”

Chansung
1. In the convenience store near the JYPE building, Chansung and Taec were eating together. When his eyes met with my friend’s, she said hi reluctantly. Then he screamed at her to go away when she didn’t even come to see him in the first place.
2. When sasaeng fans are eating ice cream in the summer, he makes them buy him ice cream as well.

Khun
Nice. (No special incident… Even Jay said so. The nice ones are usually quiet)

Wooyoung
1. The rumor that he passed out crying when Jay left.
(true, but the real reason is because he got dumped by his girlfriend)
2. Jay treated Wooyoung well from the beginning but he was more interested in getting the spotlight.
At first, Khun was the most popular and got the most shots on camera.
Wooyoung always stood next to him to take advantage of that.
Then when Jay became pretty famous after “Again & Again” Wooyoung began standing next to him instead.
3. Bitchy. A hell of a personality.

Junho
1. Dissed Jay even before the debut. Junho and Taecyeon talked to Jay in a condescending manner because he was a “Yankee”
2. Teamed up with Taec and talked behind Jay’s back.
3. When fans ask him for autographs, he checks their looks first (to see if they’re hot)

2PM in general
1. Wooyoung changes his girlfriend all the time. Right now he is dating a member of a girl group.
2. Wooyoung and Taec bring sasaeng fans home and sleep with them.
3. Except for Jo Kwon and Khun, OneDay is two-faced.
4. When Wooyoung writes “I miss you” or “I feel… (negative emotion)” It’s always about a girl.

Taecyeon
A few days after Jay left, he went to karaoke with Chansung and Wooyoung.
Sasaeng fans followed and heard something ridiculous.
They wrote new lyrics to songs and sang about how happy they were because Jay, the Yankee, had left.
Thanks to him, they no longer had to divide the money into 7 but 6.
Some people ask “How do you know it’s Taecyeon?” Do you really think sasaeng fans can’t even recognize voices??

From someone who graduated high school with Chansung:
Chansung said he was going to be a celebrity so he has to “build up his image.”
He was in a dance group with my friend and threw tomato juice at her.
He couldn’t dance to save his life but he always acted mad cocky and covered his face (thinking he is a celebrity).
He fought with my friend and broke windows (the friend was a girl).

i cant believe you ppl. and to think we supported you when jae was gone. YOU FUCKERS. MAKING USE OF JAE LIKE THAT. IF I EVER SEE ANY OF YOU(EXCEPT KWON, KHUN AND JAE) I WILL FUCKING GO RIGHT UP TO YOU AND SLAP YOU. BETTER YET IF I HAVE A KNIFE WITH ME. I'LL STAB YOU IN THE HEART. YOU BLOODY MOTHERFUCKERS. I DONT CARE IF I GET SENTENCED TO DEATH OR LIFE FOR IT. YOU DESERVE WHATEVER YOU GET CUZ OF THE WAY YOU TREATED JAE.

2010-02-27T08:41:00.002+08:00

alright, here to blog about ytd. got back bio marks. srsly stunned. topped the class with 21/25. i find that unacceptable tho. if i topped, should have been with like 23 or 24. 21 is totally not good. have to work harder on my science. no, have to actually do some work on my science, cause i didn't study much anyway. 10 year series, here i come. maths... that bloody retest was harder then the first test! class test class test. and have i mentioned how much my class hates ang wee kee? "You should drop the subject if you cant follow instructions." HOW TO EFFING DROP EMATHS? ITS A EFFING COMPULSARY SUBJECT YOU IDIOT. i actually typed out the actual f word, but decided to change it, cause i dont wanna swear so early in the morning.

nvm, shant be bothered with a f-er like him. even his form class hates him~

im not lonely anymore.

i've got more ppl now to accompany me.

so i guess now the tables have changed.

you're the one that's dispensible.

not me.

2010-02-20T18:20:00.002+08:00

alright, decided to blog before i go bathe. yes, cause i know if i bathe, i'll forget everything. lol. okay. anyway, had to wake up at 6.30 for thinking day. but cause of dunno what reason, i woke up at 4am, 5am, 6am and 6.30. really stupid. waste my sleeping time. anyway, went to sch, waited for sam then left. arrived at indoor stadium, assembled the roof, and then slacked with evan(short for evangelyn. gee what a mouthful), esther, and the other kcpss ppl. they're so hyper and hillarious. cant stop laughing around them. then shawty came with the other bhss guides and... okay see, i cant rmb what happened here alr. okay. anyways, we lifted the roof and then i made the teacher put shawty beside(or rather, behind is more accurate) me, holding on to the roof. LOL. sec4 still kena bullied by sec3 LOL. then shawty kept complaining she'd tell debbie. like LOL. deb wont even scold me la. LOL.

then, i think i called shawty, shawty. LOL. then she stared at me, and stomped over and started hitting me. LOL. its kinda fun la. i think i'll do it again next time. then i kept laughing when she came out with her hair in plaits and AGAIN she hit me. seriously, what's with her and hitting me? oh yeah. then i was tickling evan, then she leaned back and grabbed onto my wrists and ALMOST PULLED ME ONTO HER. i was like, WTF MAN *pull away* LOL. then esther was like, oooohhhhh, evan's so crooked! cause it was already a long standing issue from earlier that morning when she imagined i was JON and then hugged my arm and put her head on my shoulder. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. CROOKED LOL.

then did the actual carrying of the float out to the stage and all. then kept turning back to ask shawty whether she was alright. LOL. cause both our necks were like, squashed against the railing and the float when we were waiting, so lol. then went back. omg damn scary man, on the way back, we were turning into upper thompson when this woman suddenly drove her car across when the light was red. then duh we got into an accident. like whuttttttttttttt. i didn't even realise. i had just enough time to throw my arm up to block my face from hitting the seat in front of me. nicole wasn't so lucky tho. i think her lip got cut. lol. anyway, got off the bus and went home.

shall go bathe now. all in all, i think this thinking day is the most fun one ever, thanks to shawty and the kcpss ppl (:

2010-02-18T22:16:00.002+08:00

i just blogged two days ago? well, sure doesn't feel like two days. anyways, it's been quite a while since i felt like blogging. like truly felt like blogging. i dont really feel like it anyway, but might as well just update this blog.

first period of the day was ss. lily came in with the PRINCIPAL. woah, we were like tio shock. then had to talk damn softly to shan the whole time. argued with the PRINCIPAL(she really doesn't deserve that title) a bit. then chinese, then pe. played rounders. damn fun lol. cant wait for 2.4 next term. run run runnnnnnnnnnnnn. i think my stamina improved. just alittle bit tho. have to keep jogging. then emaths. mr ang was in a bad mood man. made us do all our previous assignments before starting the lesson. so in the end, i did finish 2.6, 3.1 and 3.2. lol. in one period! so proud of myself xD hahahhahah. then english last 2 periods, didn't do much. was kinda in a daze + talking to zi yan. lol.

then after that went for tmr's rehearsal, then went to bhss for the float rehearsal. i go there i chua tio LOL. i walk up there uh, lift up my head and woah! see chiobu LOL. aiya, boring la. then talked to chiobu for a while. then after that got dismissed. then went back home. okay. longggggggg post. freaking bored too. shall sleep early i guess. nights

2010-02-16T18:43:00.003+08:00

i think i only come here to blog when im either fucking pissed off or extremely happy. since i just got blown off, i think extremely happy is not possible right. so yeah, dont have to read this post. or you can just leave, cause there aint any other recent posts anyway.

damn fucked man. i rush back from one end of singapore to the other just cause you told me you wanted to go out, then after that, what? "Sorry, i quarreled with him. Dont think i wanna go out alr." what the fuck man? even if i quarreled with x i also wont blow off someone right/ and especially is you say you wanted to go out somemore one. im really pissed off can? its so not fun to have your parents drive you back home, then getting ready and then getting this kind of sms. it really feels damn what you know. fuck la. at least you taught me something out of this. plan a few days ahead. so ppl dont fucking cancel on the fucking last minute.

oh yeah. this is not referring to x. so hmmm. me and x are just peachy. .... right -.- whatever. thanks to yiming + andre + benjaminT for trying to come tho.

2010-02-13T12:18:00.002+08:00

so maybe its true, that i cant live without you.

it's been a boring few days(or week).

Two Is Better Then One --- Boys Like Girls

I remember what you wore on our first day
You came into my life
And i thought hey
You know this could be something
'cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now i'm left with nothing

So maybe it's true, that i can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time, to figure out the best in my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And i'm thinking two, is better than one

I remember every look upon your face,
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'cause when i close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
And finally now, believing

And maybe it's true, that i can't live without you
Well maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time, to figure out the best in my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And i'm thinking two, is better than one

Yeah, yeah

I remember what you wore on our first day
You came into my life
And i thought hey

Maybe it's true, that i can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time, to figure out the best in my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And i'm thinking

Oooh i can't live without you
'cause baby two is better than one
There's so much time, to figure out the best in my life
And i've figured out with all that's said and done
Two, is better than one

Two is better than one.

2010-02-07T21:24:00.002+08:00

blogging again. hmmm. watching that investigator show on channel 8. "love is not a commodity for sale." I agree. aiyoooo, that stupid dai yang tian, push the girl he likes to his buddy cause, "It's worthwhile for my buddy's sake!" STUPID. omggggggggg, that other guy so sweet. that jinshi. kena stabbed in the leg, bleeding like shit, then "I'm fine. As long as you're not hurt it's fine!" omggggggg. so sweet la!

and just now i went to ntuc, walked around for a bit, lights suddenly went off. everybody was like whaaaaaaa? actually im fine with it lor, but my parents didn't bring cash, then cannot use visa. then i was so pissed that cannot buy the hoegaarden! eeyer, so irritating la.

eeeee dai yang tian(sorry i dont remember his name in the movie!) was outside listening to jinshi and chunzhen talking! OMG SIBEH STALKER! lol

hmmm. still thinking about that person. damned irritating. gotta get my head clear.

2010-02-02T14:57:00.000+08:00

okay i'm very very tired right now. After i finish this post i'm gonna go bathe then sleep alr. Just a random urge to blog. So i guess i shall just blog about ytd. Went to meet quin after sch, ate mos for lunch then took the train to somerset. I realised something. Me and quin always have like a ton of things to talk about in the beginning, but after a couple of hours, our energy is sapped. Lol. Anyway, crapped alot, walked around 313, saw this racing game on the xbox in HMV so quin and i decided to play one round. We ended up cursing every 10 seconds or so at the oh-so-frequent overdrifts or bad steering controls of the xbox. Lol. But at least i won yeah? XD then we walked to billabong, and quin saw this visor beanie! But she didn't like it in brown, so we left. Then walked to heeren to get my fedora. And on the way there we saw a guy with a pork pie(is that what it's called? I forgot xD) so quin gave me a crash course on the different types of hat. I only remember pork pie, bowler and boater. Hahahah. OH AND THAT CUTE RUSSIAN HAT! Lol. And that white furry beret. Quin looks good in everything. I'm envious =/ lol. So we walked to taka, then we bought some... Pastry? To eat, lol. Then walked to wisma then finally went off. Okay, gee. Sorry for the long paragraph. Using my phone to blog, so lol.

THANK YOU ANDRE TAI!

2010-01-26T21:31:00.002+08:00

Kay, I'm blogging with my mum's iPhone lol. All to thank Andre tai for teaching me wedding dress yo! Lol, THANK YOU ANDRE TAI! Sorry la, can't alter the size of the font, plus I'm lazy to add the scripts. Hahah. Imy so much, yet again.

2010-01-21T21:58:00.002+08:00

alright, since SOMEONE complained i didn't blog, i shall specially use my phone to blog, okay? XD so this post is for that SOMEONE who asked why i didn't update. Yes you (: heheh. Okay. Today's lessons were okay, abit boring, but... Oh well. Then waited for SOMEONE at the canteen for about 4 hours. Thanks to samantha and xiaowei for waiting with me! Then SOMEONE came, gave the disc to SOMEONE and then we sat there talking until sam and xiaowei had to go. We really talked alot. Like around an hour or so. Hahah. Then we went up and waited for SOMEONE'S junior to finish table tennis, then we went for dinner at nyny. *money flies away* really ex man. Hahah, then we walked around for a while and SOMEONE had to get a new ring cause SOMEONE'S junior broke SOMEONE'S ring so hahahah. Then after that me and SOMEONE'S junior did something to SOMEONE. *cough* something to do with SOMEONE'S clothes. 'nuff said. Heheh. Then i had to leave =/ got home and got lectured. Oh wells. Okay, i updated alr ah! SOMEONE had better take note of this kay!

2010-01-18T16:17:00.000+08:00

i dont update anymore actually. lol. so check my twitter for updates ba, cause blogging is kinda more troublesome then tweeting (:

2010-01-14T21:31:00.001+08:00

THANK YOU FOR BUYING MY DONGDAEMUN, ANDRE TAI(:

see? heheh. okay, well. i dont really have anything to blog about. nothing interesting happened. well.

have faith in yourself, because nobody else might place the same amount of trust on you as you do on yourself.

2010-01-11T21:38:00.002+08:00

470th post.

today was like ugh. sch was totally fine. fun, even. i could just put my head down and shan would do the same, facing me, then she'd ramble on and on about anything and everything. i like having shan as a sitting buddy. she's fun to be around with. just thinking about it can make me smile. hahah.

well, then chem was interesting, shan was like, "cheryl, dont answer anymore can?" LOL. then after that, waited outside the hall for gwen for like idk how long, then decided to go in. kinda got pissed after that, but whatever la, seeing gwen so upset was definitely more urgent. lol. then brought gwen out to ichiban and ate there. then went to her house, watched mtv for a while, then went back home. so yeah.

2010-01-10T21:25:00.001+08:00

tmr's the results day. idk why im blogging about it when IM not the one getting the results. oh well. good luck to everybody who IS getting it. thought about alot of things during my 50 min jog. decided to not be angry at that person anymore. so whatever ba, im not.

haven't done my emaths or chinese yet. thank god i still have about 2-3 more days. lol.

2010-01-09T22:35:00.001+08:00

damn shagged even tho i spent the whole day at home playing com and stuff. nothing much to blog about. cant wait till monday. then i get to see you again. i miss you.

2010-01-05T19:16:00.002+08:00

well, blogging now. today was pretty okay. kinda getting used to the sec3 lifestyle alr. sec3 sec3 sec3. 3endeavour 3endeavour 3endeavour. ohmygadddddddddddddddddddddddddd. so much walking around. i bet i will lose the *kg i put on at london soon(: great. its actually kinda fun in class. my class is like the noisest. with terry, its like... LOL. oh wells. actually got kinda emotional today cause of the lit book. its like an emotional rollercoaster! okay no, it made me go on a rollercoaster. it's like reading a jodi picoult book!

now to end off with a quote from jodi picoult.

Things break all the time.
Day breaks, waves break, voices break.
Promises break.
Hearts break.

sch without you was weird.

2010-01-04T17:19:00.002+08:00

oh yah, forgot to post this in my last last post. anyway, there was this once i was walking along high street kensington, then this girl was like hurrying by, then she suddenly dropped her books in front of me, so (being the nice person that i am *snorts with laughter*) i pick up her books for her. then the convo goes something like this.

Me: "Here you go, miss."
Her: "Thanks so much *smiles*"
Me: "My pleasure *smiles*"
Her: "So... you're not from around here, right?"
Me: "*smiles* yeah"
Her: "Ahhh, well... Can i get you a hot drink? A cup of coffee perhaps? *smiles AGAIN*"
Me: "Uhhh, sorry, but i'm meeting someone. *smiles nervously*"
Her: "Oh, your girlfriend?"
Me: "Hahahah, yeah yeah, my girlfriend."
Her: "*look of disappointment* oh, right sure, well, thanks again. *walks off*"

LOL ITS LIKE THE MOST HILARIOUS THING ON EARTH.

anyway, im kinda lazy to upload more pictures alr. haven't slept in like 31 hours. tired tired. shall go to sleep early tonight.

oh, today was fine. i just kinda regret taking lit. i guess i cant keep my new year's resolution of trying to buck up my studies. i'm a naturally lazy person. sorry for disappointing you.

2010-01-03T21:48:00.008+08:00

photos for emirates!

okay, i shall put up the rest when i have time.

2010-01-03T00:04:00.002+08:00

im back! i have no idea who's reading my blog anymore but idc. sorry for any typos i make, cause im typing in like complete darkness hmmm.

okay, the flight there was okay, didn't sleep for the whole 13 hours there, then went to my aunt's house, ate dinner and knocked out. this continued for the second day. then on the third day, we were off to paris in a Eurostar train. IT FUCKING SNOWED IN PARIS. I LOVE SNOW NOW. its cold and makes your fingers hurt and all, but its beautiful, especially in the morning. not saying all snow is beautiful of course. after being stepped on and melted, it turns to grey, which turns to black. not nice at all. so after that, we went home in another eurostar train(we were travelling first class, not coach. first class is so much better lol). idk if any of you heard of the eurostar incident, trains broke down in the channel tunnel. well, my train was the first to break down. and we were "rescued" by some car transport train. better then nothing i guess.

got stuck in the bloody train for almost 15 hours, then finally reached england. you know why? cause the bloody train driver insisted on driving back to calais then to king's cross. people were fucking pissed off man! then went home all grouchy and moody. knocked out again.

days after that were surprisingly mundane. except for christmas and all, that was fun. then after christmas, i got a surprise gift from my uncle. he bought me this arsenal scarf, you know, the ones that they wave at the matches and all, and this arsenal fan tee shirt, and the arsenal keychain and badge. he is the coolest guy ever. and he made my dad buy me the official arsenal jersey! all cause i told him i liked arsenal instead of man utd. and he's a man utd fan somemore. requote. coolest guy ever.

hahah, okay, then we went on a ride with my uncle. went to see big ben, the london eye, westminister abbey, soho, and all those other places. oh and i made my dad bring me to the emirates stadium. awesomeness. next time, i'll go watch a match (: oh and i love the tube. it's like singapore's MRT just more more more complex. there're like, 7 lines or so? hahahah. arsenal's even got it's own station! well, bought loads of sweets, some gifts for gwen and rei. and i guess that's it. enough of my life. i shall go and focus on my phone now xD

2009-12-12T22:44:00.002+08:00

my (colour) is a (colour) you can never forget~~~

i like the samsung corby advert by 2PM. (DUH ITS 2PM I LOVE EVERYTHING 2PM RELATED) maybe i'll get the phone when i save up enough cash = never. lol.

wells, my ff's pretty okay. just a few consistent readers is good enough for me.

www.winglin.net/fanfic/khun if you wanna read, but i dont think you will want, so oh wells. (:

2009-12-12T19:06:00.000+08:00

cant help but to realise that my life as i know it now will be over in june. then a new chapter will start. be it a good or a bad one, it'll depend entirely on x's decision.

hope we can still be friends... after everything's done.

2009-12-12T18:09:00.001+08:00

라라 랄랄라 난 빠젔잖아
그녀 없이 사는 거 해보나 마나
그녀가 주는 게 너무나 많아
내 입에 서 미소가 끊이질 않아
그녀 없인 사나 마나
그럼 이졔 나는 어떻게 하나
에라 모르겠다
이대로가 좋다
그녀가 술이면 취해 버리린다

2009-12-12T17:30:00.000+08:00

2 more days.

2009-12-11T17:38:00.004+08:00

you wanna let those idiot memories die?
so i guess those memories are considered idiotic to you huh?
the roses, everything.
i dont know why im getting so upset over it now.
its not like there's anything left to get angry about over you.
i've gotten hurt over everything alr.
perhaps this would be a good time to not get hurt over you.
if only i could.
3 more days, then i'll try my best to forget you once im there.
kinda impossible right.
im going to see the eiffel tower, which i've promised to see together with you.
i'm going to see snow without you.
i'm going overseas without packing you in my luggage.
isn't it just ironic?
immediately after you leave, i get told that im going to paris.
hilarious isn't it?
i feel like laughing at the twist of events.
perhaps its just alittle too late, for things to revert back to their original position.

2009-12-11T17:11:00.001+08:00

3 more days.

its only been over a week. yet im alr missing you like crazy. sigh.

2009-12-10T15:59:00.002+08:00

idk why but the tab for winglin lags like crazy. so maybe i'll use my mum's com to update instead. was thinking about the next chapter for a long time. still haven't decided yet. hmmm.

2009-12-09T20:38:00.002+08:00

i feel so ugh right now. i just realised what im gonna do in june will screw up my schedule for july. maybe my schedule for the rest of the year. great isn't it?

this is the first time i didn't get that happiness when x replied me. instead i felt... sadder.

2009-12-09T10:40:00.002+08:00

hmm yes the freaking weird dream about x. hmmm i went to facebook and saw something, i think its x's status or something. then it went something like... hmmm. oh man, i forgot. lol. anyway, was something about being crude when i talked to x? or something like that. i remember laughing like crazy. cause i really tried not to use vulgarities when i talked to x. not the more vulgar ones at least. lol. oh wells. going to tampines mall soon. shall try to remember there.

2009-12-06T17:50:00.002+08:00

okay, shall blog about my outing with bro. we ate lunch at that place me and xiaowei always eats at plaza sing. lol. scallops were nice. then walked around, went to the arcade and stuff. found out they had the jubeat thingy there!!! yeyness, they have haru haru you know! (: that was fun. then wasted like 10 bucks on the jubeat and silent hill and ghost recon.

then went to see new moon. quite okay, wasn't THAT disappointing. taylor lautner was omgggggggggg. when he took off his shirt to clean the blood off bella's head, i could hear the girls in the theatre suck in their breath man! okay i admit, i did too. lol. damn envious xD

edward wasn't such a letdown this time. but the ending was kinda... edward even managed to appear hot(ALITTLE BIT. but he's still ugly!) ugh. anyway, that's pretty much it.

im sick and bored at home. another week + 1 day, and i'll be flying off. happy me.

so here's my plan.

7th dec: stay at home
8th dec: stay at home
9th dec: stay at home
10th dec: take out extensions
11th dec: stay at home
12th dec: stay at home
13th dec: go over to my dad's house + packing
14th dec: FINALLY GET OUT OF BORING OLD SINGAPORE!

so another 7 more days till im happy. yes i will stay emo and bored until 13th dec. so goodbye people.

2009-12-04T16:44:00.003+08:00

450th post.

okay, i cant think of anything to blog except that i'll be going out with bro tmr to watch a movie. idk what movie also. feeling emo now. the happiness has worn off. no need to read the rest of this post.

its just abit too tiring for me
to keep thinking about you
and then try to take only
the good memories.
i just keep replaying those pathetic
hours in my mind, trying to find
something i overlooked,
something that could make me smile
but i cant.
i guess gwen was right.
my expectations are really too high.
even SHE said it.
its kinda hurting to realise she was right.
even tho gwen might say its all nonsensical rubbish,
i know that she hit the nail on the head
with that one sentence.
"because no one can live up to your expectations
hence bring disappointment."
i guess she'd be happy to see me so miserable now,
over her words to me.
"i'd like to see how it goes."
why bother? just knowing that you've hurt me
isn't enough? you want to see me breakdown
with your own eyes now?
will you be satisfied then?
even after everything, i still cant bring myself
to hurt you. i wonder if you know how much
you meant to me. probably not.
no one can. i have to say.
there are times when i still delude myself
into thinking that you're still by my side.
sometimes when people ask me who my best friend is
i'd immediately think of you, and then i'd have to stop myself
from saying out your name. but then later when nobody's around
i'd whisper your name like a prayer, as if you could still bring me
the same happiness you did in the past.
i guess i really am a fool, for not being able to move on.

2009-12-03T16:17:00.002+08:00

rewatched secret again today. it managed to make me cry this time tho. so that's new. lol. teared repeatedly at those sad sad sad damn EMO piano pieces he(jay chou) played. okay, i teared at the table part, the playing piano part, almost all the parts after xiaoyu left. hahahahha, im so emotional. idk why. maybe its cause im supposed to be happy today. okay i am, but secret made me feel so sadddddddddddddd. okay i just paused rainbow on youtube to hear fireflies on MTV LOL. quin hates this "over rated song" but i love it. idk why. maybe its cause its not like those normal weepy sad songs i listen to. its more of those cheerful type. hahah. okay, its over.

你要离开我知道很简单, 你说依赖是我们的阻碍.
就算放开但能不能别没收我的爱, 当作我最后才明.

2009-12-02T22:21:00.002+08:00

okay, first off, today was a good day, overall. first, dragged myself to sch and bought the necessary stuff at sheng siong, then went to sch. scalded my hand. nothing big. shan't go into so much detail.

farewell was... like ugh. thank god i had v smsing me, or i think i'd be like sitting there counting down the minutes to leave. looking at her sitting there was really very... disturbing. like i desperately wanted to make things go back to normal. okay, no more on this topic. we shared breezer, and then things lightened up after they left. took alot of jumpshots and then played this game. and OMG the stupid forfeit. had to hold a french fry between me and xiaowei using our teeth. looked like kissing la wts. lol

okay, then i left. the stupid weather had me sweating bullets until i had to use the hair dryer at nicole's house twice(and im sitting with my towel over my head now cause i just bathed. lol)

rushed to central cause i thought i was late, but then realised that v was later then me hahahha. so stood there and watched them making the sweets. then later saw v coming so walked to her. went to this ramen restaurant and the queue was like long man. hahah, then stand there and talked about farewell, nicole, xiaowei, and hmmm, i cant remember what. then i got asked alot of random questions. hahah.

we sat there at the restaurant for a damn long time talking about alot of stuff. i just realise that i've told v more about her then i did to gwen/quin/birdy/whoever. oh and the ramen was good. hahahah, random. i know. and v's stm is seriously bad. like she can forget stuff that we talked about 30 minutes ago, what the hell? hahhaha.

then we walked around central, first floor, second floor, down to first floor, then we went down to the basement and the guy offered us sweets! yey, it was nice xD then went to the mrt. the train arrived just as we were walking in, so i was like, eh hurry up, the train's here alr. then v was like, walk also can! then after that, she was like, see, i told you! hahahhah.

talked alot in the train, i was kinda like, why's the train moving so fast =/ in my head luh. lol. then v went off, and then i went off. then im back home! hahah, this first outing with v, wasn't all as formal as i made it out to be. surprising hmmm? hahah, and i know you're gonna read it soon, so yeah. thanks for today, v! hahahah(:

2009-12-01T17:20:00.002+08:00

tmr's farewell. im scared. yes i know i shouldn't be. no actually i should be. got the food and everything alr. gonna eat ramen with v after that. so i guess that's one good thing out of the whole day. im hesitant about going for the farewell tmr. that pretty much summarises up everything.

i want to do so many things. but there isn't enough time for me. there's never enough time. please give me a time machine.

2009-11-29T16:13:00.002+08:00

"A panic attack is a response of the sympathetic nervous system (SNS). The most common symptoms may include trembling, dyspnea (shortness of breath), heart palpitations, chest pain (or chest tightness), hot flashes, cold flashes, burning sensations (particularly in the facial or neck area), sweating, nausea, dizziness (or slight vertigo), light-headedness, hyperventilation, paresthesias (tingling sensations), sensations of choking or smothering, and derealization "

yey-ness i might have had a panic attack a few nights ago. panic over what? I ALSO DONT KNOW. wts la. lol

"The symptoms of a "broken heart" can manifest themselves through psychological pain but for many the effect is physical. Although the experience is regarded commonly as indescribable, the following is a list of common symptoms that occur:

A perceived tightness of the chest, similar to an anxiety attack
Stomachache and/or loss of appetite
Partial or complete insomnia
Anger
Shock
Nostalgia
Apathy (loss of interest)
Feelings of loneliness
Feelings of hopelessness and despair
Loss of self-respect and/or self-esteem
Medical or psychological illness (for example depression)
Suicidal thoughts (in extreme cases)
Nausea
Fatigue
The thousand-yard stare
Constant or frequent crying
A feeling of complete emptiness
In extreme cases, death "

wowness. im going to do self reflection now. reflect over what, i also dont know. hah.

2009-11-29T13:41:00.003+08:00

okay, i said i'd post about my weird dream last last night. so now im posting. well, the dream started with me in a overseas country. i have no idea which country, so dont ask me. all i know is that i was at an airport. that there were guys surrounding me, and i was with some people. that apparently, were my friends. as in, i dont know them, but there was this thought in me that they were friends. like i knew them from somewhere. but we were like separated la. like i was outside with one, and the others were inside the airport. then those guys that were surrounding me suddenly had guns. then i grabbed the person's(dont ask me if its a girl or a guy. i dont know. srsly) hand and ran toward to airport. then quin's msg about how hot jordana brewster is woke me up. LOL. WTS LA. i've been watching too much rush hour(you know, the show with jackie chan in it and the big black guy)

disappointment... shouldn't have kept my hopes up.

2009-11-28T20:59:00.002+08:00

listening to muse now on MTV. world stage! lol. uprising xD ♥

better now, (WITHOUT MEDICINE. LOL) just phlegm and cough. thanks to ppl who wished me a fast recovery. lol.

in love with wedding dress now. its taken the top spot in my most played playlist. amazing hmmm? trying to memorise the english translations now, so i can match.

okay, shall devote my concentration to it now.

some say it aint over until its over. but i guess this is really over now.

2009-11-27T15:54:00.002+08:00

네가 그와 다투고 때론 그 땜에 울고
힘들어 할 때면 난 희망을 느끼고
아무도 모르게 맘 아-아-아프고
네 작은 미소면 또 담담해지고
네가 혹시나 내 마음을 알게 될까봐
알아버리면 우리 멀어지게 될까봐
난 숨을 죽여 또 입술을 깨물어
제발 그를 떠나 내게 오길

오랜 시간 기다려온 날 돌아봐줘
오늘이 오지 않기를 그렇게 나 매일 밤 기도했는데

내 맘을 몰라줬던 네가 너무 미워서
가끔은 네가 불행하길 난 바랬어
이미 내 눈물은 다 마 마 마르고
버릇처럼 혼자 너에게 말하고
매일 밤 그렇게 불안했던걸 보면 난
이렇게 될꺼란 건 알았는지도 몰라
난 눈을 감아 끝이 없는 꿈을 꿔
제발 그를 떠나 내게 오길

부디 그와 행복해 너를 잊을수 있게
내 초라했던 모습들은 다 잊어줘
비록 한동안은 나 죽을 만큼 힘이 들겠지만 no oh
너무 오랜 시간을 착각 속에 홀로 바보처럼 살았죠
아직도 내 그녀는 날 보고 새 하얗게 웃고 있는데

2009-11-26T20:00:00.002+08:00

hahahha some asshole thinks i cant manage without him? OH PLEASE. HOW MANY MONTHS HAS IT BEEN? YOU TELL ME. THIS KIND OF "FRIEND" I DONT NEED LA OKAY. SO HILARIOUS LIKE LOL. DON'T TRY TO ACT ALL GRACIOUS AND SHIT. HAHAHAHAHHAHA. ITS SERIOUSLY SO HILARIOUS.

2009-11-26T19:10:00.005+08:00

i still cant get that sentence out of my mind."i feel like im a substitute." how can i prove you're not. i've got no way of proving it. i cant prove that you're worth more to me then... that person alr. i cant prove anything. and so i guess, this is the end. i cant do anything right. im so fucking useless. i cant even convince you. if only you'd ask someone else, how much you meant to me, maybe birdy, she'd probably explain so much better. she'd probably tell you exactly how much you mean to me. until that moment, i didn't even realise you'd alr meant more to me then that person did. of course, its just alittle too late to realise it then. what a hopeless scenario to be in. especially for me. people think im so dependable, daring to do stuff people usually won't, being the silent one when everybody else is screaming, offering to test out stuff first. why cant they see the reason behind it. i just want someone to acknowledge my existence. to tell me that im useful, to notice im there. instead of always being the one trailing behind, the one who has to find people to partner with instead of people coming up to ask, the one who's always left out. i dont want to do this anymore.

on a lighter note, i think im in love with Neil Robertson xD hahah, in love with his sexy mussed up blonde hair and snooker playing only unfortunately. watching him play since the day before ytd. just watching him has given me a rough idea on how to play snooker. cool right?! lol. his hair is those sexy messy kind. i wanna achieve that kinda hair as well xD LOL. unfortunately, im falling in love with his dressing as well xD vest, with a black shirt and black bowtie. okay, maybe its the shirt and vest. always liked suits. and he's winninggggggggggg.

HAIR HAIR HAIR! LOOK AT HIS HAIR! ♥♥♥!!!

(: im gonna continue watching him trash some lousy china snooker player. hah! i love his hair. i really do. can someone introduce me his stylist? I WOULDN'T MIND PAYING AUSSIE DOLLARS!!!! xD

2009-11-26T16:01:00.004+08:00

i feel terrible right now. i want to eat instant noodles, but i cant, cause of this stupid sore throat. i want to text you right now, but im afraid of how you'd reply. i want to ask you out, but im scared of the pain rejection will bring. ~~i want to love you, but i know it'll never be reciprocated.~~

stupid sore throat. cause me so much trouble. feel like carving my throat out so i will stop having to clear my throat all the time. yes i have phlegm as well. irritating. *clear throat* "owww, my throat hurts..."(from ahem-ing). damn fed up with it la.

saw another fanfic last night, and there was this poem. lazy to go and find the whole thing, so i'll just post the part that caught my eye.

"Look past all the mist and the dense fog and what do you see. Not your knight in shining armor but there's always been me."

cool huh. im a huge fan of this girl(the writer)'s writing style + storylines. and she lives in california. *envious* i wanna live overseas too =/ lol

shit now im coughing too. *clear throat* *cough cough cough* *wince* =/

ninja assassin is coming out today =/ i want to be 18 years old. so i can see rain and his abs. okay im not really a rain fan, but since he's a korean... *shrugs*

im still waiting for my tee shirts to arrive. waiting & waiting & waiting. i should probably get tired of waiting alr xD hahahahah, pun is totally intended. yet i guess only 2PM fans can get it =/

oh wells. im missing jae again. and of course, x. but at least x is a situation that's able to remedy, while jae's cant =/ just thought of a very inequal equation. something like. "Jae means pretty much more to me then any of the 2PM members except Khun. and Khun means pretty much more to me then anybody else except X. and X means more to me then Khun and Jae added together with all the other 2PM members."

woah, for an instant there after i typed it out, i actually didn't understand what i meant. hahahahah. i guess 2PM fan girls will kill me for that hmmm? saying an ordinary person is actually worth more then the Thai Prince and the Leadja of 2PM. to me at least, an ordinary person is worth more to me then the whole 2PM put together =/ the ridiculous notions of a person in love. okay no, im not saying im actually in LOVE with x, but just as a reference hmmm?

okay, think i've crapped enough for a day. have fun in your own lives people, hope they aint as crappy and boring as mine!

2009-11-25T23:40:00.003+08:00

네가 없인 단 하루도 못 살 것만 같았던 나
생각과는 다르게도 그럭저럭 혼자 잘 살아
보고 싶다고 불러 봐도 넌 아무 대답 없잖아
헛된 기대 걸어 봐도 이젠 소용없잖아

내가 뭘 잘못 했는지 미안해요 베네사.

끝났다는. 걸 아직도 이러는지 이해가 안가. 그 녀는. 내가 기다리는걸 그녀는 전혀 모른 채. 잘 살고 있어 그녀는 이미. 그녀는 날 잊었.

2009-11-25T20:25:00.003+08:00

i'm gonna put you first. i'm gonna let you know what you're worth. don't need these other pretty faces like i need you.

because to me, you're worth everything i've said and done.

2009-11-25T13:28:00.002+08:00

i feel even more depressed right now when im re-reading thru **'s blog. guess i was feeling too much vertigo last night to really comprehend the posts. alright, enough about **. time to talk about x. its been so many months, yet i still cant get over this feeling. its like everytime im talking to you, i get that same feeling i did the first time i saw you. that quickening of my heartbeat and that idiotic grin that slips onto my face. no matter how hard i try, i just cant stop smiling. people probably think im crazy, smiling to my phone. but they don't know how much happiness it give me to just see a single haha from you. how much laughter i can get from your random jokes. how much joy i can get from your promises. and how much sorrow i can get when you forget things we've discussed. you can bring me so much pain and happiness at the same time. i seriously don't know what to do anymore. i've alr decided to stay away, but i just cant carry that decision out. i lack even the adequete selfcontrol to refrain from talking to you. even deleting your number is useless. because i've alr memorised your number. this is crazy. i didn't even memorise y's number. or maybe i did, but not the new one. hahahahahah. i feel like laughing at this ridiculous situation. i've alr sunk into this pit. how the hell am i suposed to get out of it now? i need a reason to break down. some one give it to me.

2009-11-25T13:02:00.002+08:00

just checked out suju M's supergirl. yes gwen i know im lagging. lol. i like the lyrics xD that's pretty much the only reason im downloading the song. along with the tune.

[Kyuhyun]Oh super super girl
Oh Oh Oh Oh

[Siwon]Look at me, look at me,
Don't keep thinking about him
He doesn't doesn't doesn't love you
You are much better than he is

[Kyuhyun]Dont keep staring at the phone
Don't change your mind so easily
You understand, you know it
My supergirl

[Ryeowook]Sometimes you think about
The flowers he gave you

[Henry]Throw them quickly throw them away

[Ryeowook]And his most charming smile

[Henry]Forget it quickly forget it

[Ryeowook]His gentlesness will make you confuse

[Henry]Wake up quickly wake up

[Ryeowook]Everything that's good about you
Let me keep it as a secret for you

[ALL]Oh my SuperGirl,
You are my baby girl
He cannot see your beauty,
Your magic behind the ordinary you
Oh my SuperGirl
I'm your SuperMan
Your eyes have captured me
For you i'm willing to do anything
Woah woah.. oh oh oh oh..
My love My love..

[Donghae]Look at me look at me
Don't always be following him
If he likes you
No matter how busy
He is, he will be able to wait for you

[Zhou Mi]He must be lying
It definately are not words from his heart
Oh don't believe it just leave
Oh just come to me now
Sometimes you think about
The flowers he gave you

[HanKyung]Throw them quickly throw them away

[Zhou Mi]And his most charming smile

[HanKyung]Forget it quickly forget it

[Zhou Mi]His gentlesness will make you confused

[HanKyung]Wake up quickly wake up
Everything that's good about you
Let me keep it as a secret for you

[ALL]Oh my SuperGirl,
You are my baby girl
He cannot see your beauty
Your magic behind the ordinary you
Oh my SuperGirl
I'm your SuperMan
Your eyes have captured me
I'm willing to do anything

[Kyuhyun]Happy or Sad

[Zhou Mi]I promise to be with you, be with you

[Donghae&Kyuhyun] Be with you, Be With you

[Ryeowook]I have the world's best love
The most expensive love
Waiting for you to move into my heart

[ALL]Do not give up the rights to happiness
The world's most beautiful one and only

[ALL] Oh my SuperGirl,
You are my baby girl
He cannot see your beauty,
Your magic behind the ordinary you
Oh my SuperGirl
I'm your SuperMan
Your eyes have captured me
I'm will do anything for you

[Kyuhyun] You are my SuperGirl

[ALL]Don't wait anymore

[Kyuhyun]Fly with me to the future

[ALL]Love not need to be rehearsed

[Ryeowook] I am your best reliance

[ALL]Don't wait anymore

[Ryeowook]Fly with me to the future

[ALL]Love not need to be rehearsed

Woah Woah Woah Woah...
My Love My Love...

(: ♥ the lyrics. its just too realistic, really. wish x would read this. but i know better =/

2009-11-24T22:55:00.002+08:00

ohmyfuckinggod. i just went to **'s blog and went back through alot of archives (cause i was fucking bored) then this post really caught my eye. talking about smiling at the phone and stuff cause of someone. wts. sounds like me. for ppl who don't know. ** likes x (ohmyfuckinggod, ohmyfuckinggod, ohmyfuckinggod). i should be feeling pissed! but wts, i feel fucking amused. like ohmygad. how can i feel amused when im reading somebody else's confession of love to x?! is it cause i know x won't like **? fuck, all the more x won't like me right. ugh. cheryl, you fucking idiot, forget about x. forgetforetforget! shit man, its alr beyond my control. i want to stop smiling whenever i talk to you/see you/think of you! and **'s just like me. got the same mindset. i feel so ugh inside. nobody to talk to alr. nobody i want to disturb anymore. maybe i should go and get into another argument with gwen. just so she can scold me and i can have another valid reason to break down and cry while talking. so fucking embarrassing the last time she called me. i fucking cried while she was trying to console me! wts. i feel so depressed right now. im finding all kinds of reasons to go sms x, but i keep stopping myself. shit man, how long can this self control last? i dont want to talk to x. that one sentence kept echoing in my mind for days. it really killed me to realise that you thought everything i said and did was only because of that. its NOT. fuck this shit. so many things running through my mind right now. cant even think properly. the vertigo is not helping. fuck this. fuck everything.

2009-11-24T13:31:00.002+08:00

just saw something on edward's blog that is like, so true. LOL. actually spend time to read each one through O___O

1. Girls hate it when guys say perverted things. --- HA. HA. HA. HA.

2. Girls like to be told that they’re beautiful, rather than hot, pretty, cute, or sexy. It just gives more meaning.

3. Girls love to feel special, even though they might not show it.

4. Girls talk about EVERYTHING with their girlfriends. So that means, you’re possibly 90% of their conversation. And believe me, trash talking takes up most of it, unless you’re a Greek god, which you’re not. --- wts i do this with birdy LOL

5. When girls are online, they want the guy to instant message them first, and they literally burn up inside when they’re not messaged. Of course, when they are messaged, they play it all cool and go “oh, hey” as if they just discovered your message. --- guilty again. LOL

6. Girls have a thing for guys who dress GQ.

7. Girls love it when guys are over 6 feet. --- hmmm, what's 6 feet? O__O oh, 1.8m WTS not so tall!!!

8. Girls find it awfully attractive when guys wear just a white t-shirt and jeans and yet they happen to look awesome in it.

9. Remember. Sense of humor. GIRLS LOVE GUYS WHO CAN MAKE THEM LAUGH.

10. Girls hate guys with bad hygiene. So put on that deodorant and clip those nails!

11. Girls love guys who plays sports. --- cannot be unfit/fat LOL

12. Girls love it when a guy pulls them close by the waist.

13. Girls go crazy when a guy smells good.

14. Girls hate cocky guys.

15. Usually, when a girl is sarcastically mean to you, it means they’re attracted to you, but are afraid that they’ll be showing too much.

16. A kiss on the hand with the right timing can be a REAL TURN-ON.

17. Girls have a thing for guys who sport blazers with a destroyed tee underneath.

18. Girls have a thing for guys who have messy sex hair.

19. Some girls can think about their crushes for 18+ hours straight. No exaggeration. --- wts sounds like me.

20. When a guy says something really sentimental, girls will remember it forever.

21. The smallest gestures, the smallest stares, and the smallest statements could make a girl’s year. No joke. --- just day, not year. (WHO'D KEEP OBSESSING OVER A GESTURE FOR A YEAR?!)

22. Girls get embarrassed easily, even if guys don’t know what the hell just happened.

23. Girls daydream about their crushes. Like getting married, going on dates, kissing, etc. They just don’t show it. --- oh wts lol

24. Girls HATE cheaters.

25. Guys who can sing or dance are a major turn on.

26. Guitarists are sexy.

27. When a girl is upset and wants you to listen, she wants you to listen. Don’t give her advice unless she asks for it.

28. When a girl is crying, she feels a lot safer if you pull her close and tell her that everything is going to be alright.

29. Girls love it when guys say their name.

30. Girls don’t like short tempered guys.

31. Sometimes girls just wish that guys would notice when they get a new haircut or if they’re wearing eyeliner.

32. When a girl calls you her loser or her dork, it usually means she’s attracted to you.

33. Girls find it a lot more romantic if you just fall asleep with them holding them with your arms rather than having a night of hot kinky sex.

34. Girls will never say I love you unless you say it first. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to scream it from the top of her lungs.

35. Girls love confidence.

36. Girls don’t like rock-hard guys. They like to know that guys can have a sensitive side too.

37. There comes a time when girls have needs too. Enough said.

38. A girl will cry over you a lot more than you think.

39. A girl’s wounds can last awhile. And when I say awhile, I mean awhile.

40. Girls hate guys who smell bad.

41. When a girl cooks for you, you know you mean a lot to her.

42. Girls don’t like it when you think other women are hot and say it so.

43. Eyeliner is a girl’s essential product. Don’t ever try to take it away from her. --- sounds like birdy, or rei. LOL

44. Girls hate it, absolutely HATE IT when guys don’t keep their promises. It throws them over the top. --- SHIT YES.

45. Every girl fantasizes about her wedding. Her dress, her flowers, her shoes, her hair. More than you think.

46. Girls hate it when other guys flirt. Yet they flirt themselves too.

47. Girls will save instant message conversations when they like a guy.

48. A phone call, a text message, or a single Hershey’s kiss will mean A LOT MORE than a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates on her birthday.

49. Every girl think she’s pretty in one way or another. They just won’t admit it.

50. Girls are VERY SELF-CONSCIOUS when it comes to their looks. No makeup is a very sensitive topic to them

51. Never EVER flirt with her sibling or bestfriend. There’s this thing called boundaries that actually exist. If you ever do, prepare to die or lose her forever.

52. Be frank about things. Guys are not the only ones who are complicated.

53. Getting a girl jealous might be cute but deep inside they are getting hurt.

54. When you’re replying to a girl’s text message without a smiley continuously, it will give her an idea that you are not interested talking to her. Worse, give her an idea something’s up. --- this is a bloody good one. lol

55. Girls love it when a guy pulls her from behind and plants a kiss on her.

56. Girls hate it when guys just stare at them. Talk to her once in awhile.

57. What’s more sexier than a guy playing the guitar?

58. Don’t ever compare her to any other female. That would make her more self-conscious.

59. Tell her you love her…

60. And actually mean it.

HAHAHAHHAH, DAMN HILARIOUS LA.

2009-11-24T12:13:00.000+08:00

had fun on the forum ytd. serious fun. ahahahha. oh wells. nothing else much to blog about. shall go check out the forum again.

2009-11-23T21:01:00.004+08:00

my girlfriend is an agent is hilarious. seriously, you can hear the entire cinema laughing. hahah. ayu was fun to be with anyway. whoever is a korean fan or whatever, totally watch it. even if you aren't a korean, its great anyway xD

OHMAN! amber from f(x) is down with swine flu! NUUUUUUUUUUU, WHY IS IT HITTING ALL MY FAVOURITE SINGERSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! T___T

no wonder i find the third guy in crossfire cute. he's a freaking chinese! WTS AND HE LOOKS KOREAN LOL. and only 3 guys out of 5 looks cute in the whole band. Lee Min, Lee Shi Qi and Yang Bum(what kind of name is Yang Bum?! srsly! sounds like kim bum, but weirder. lol). well, shall await their debut!

time for me to post about the whole jimmy lim issue. here's the article. read all the comments if you will(LIKE ME AND QUIN LOL). quin's pretty much pissed over all the pictures, but im kinda pissed only over the class picture + prom + v and yuenman. WTS IS THESE PPL'S INTENTION MAN. drag in all the sec4 girls in MF to what look like sluts ah? not involved ppl(in other classes and shit) also kena drag into this. wtf is their problem? feel like slapping all those perverts there la wts. what kind of sick ppl will make those kind of comments. nuff said. this part of my convo with quin should relay my anger well enough.

NOTE: names are censored(:

[11:22:28 AM] 새렬 its just alittle too late. : should send the sister for checkup. OMG LOL

[11:22:49 AM] quiee ◦ respect privacy, idiots: wtf slap them

[11:23:01 AM] 새렬 its just alittle too late. : even better one confirm you will want to slap "shooo the five of em not bergin liao?" WTF LOL

[11:24:01 AM] quiee ◦ respect privacy, idiots: lol i know i read more than u le

[11:24:09 AM] 새렬 its just alittle too late. : LOL sorry lor, but i think i know earlier xD
just that i couldn't go online and join the fun last night LOL ppl bitching about *CENSORED*

[11:24:40 AM] quiee ◦ respect privacy, idiots: zzz.

[11:24:52 AM] 새렬 its just alittle too late. : OMG LOL
*CENSORED*'s pictures with jimmy lim is like LOL

[11:25:22 AM] quiee ◦ respect privacy, idiots: lol

[11:25:23 AM] 새렬 its just alittle too late. : WTF FUCK THEM
CB
(IM CENSORING THIS TOO XD) *CENSORED*

[11:25:34 AM] quiee ◦ respect privacy, idiots: a dude who saw our pictures

[11:25:36 AM] 새렬 its just alittle too late. : FUCK LA KNN

[11:25:39 AM] quiee ◦ respect privacy, idiots: commented “Time to sign on MOE liaoz... “ PEDO -stamp-

[11:25:45 AM] 새렬 its just alittle too late. : pic of the happening party, skirt so short (if alcohol was involved, maybe alot of them lose their bergin liao)

[11:25:48 AM] quiee ◦ respect privacy, idiots: WTF UR PROB

[11:25:50 AM] 새렬 its just alittle too late. : FUCK THAT ASSHOLE

[11:25:51 AM] quiee ◦ respect privacy, idiots: (OKAY IM GONNA CENSOR THE WHOLE SENTENCE XD) *CENSORED*

[11:26:00 AM] 새렬 its just alittle too late. : SEE WHAT THAT FUCKER SAY LA KNN

[11:26:06 AM] quiee ◦ respect privacy, idiots: I KNOW LA Cb I READ UNTIL PAGE 454356563d
ok not tht much pages u see last page Aaron FFFUUUUUURY

[11:26:40 AM] 새렬 its just alittle too late. : fuck man, i also gonna post alr

[11:27:15 AM] quiee ◦ respect privacy, idiots: DO NOT REVEAL ANY IDENTITY

[11:27:23 AM] 새렬 its just alittle too late. : DUH

[11:27:24 AM] quiee ◦ respect privacy, idiots: POST SMART

[11:27:26 AM] 새렬 its just alittle too late. : DUH DUH DUH FUCK MAN KNN

[11:27:41 AM] quiee ◦ respect privacy, idiots: ANGRY RITE ANGRY RITE

[11:27:42 AM] 새렬 its just alittle too late. : you are damn lucky you never go prom

[11:27:42 AM] quiee ◦ respect privacy, idiots: I TOLD U SO

[11:27:43 AM] 새렬 its just alittle too late. : LOL FUCK LA

yeap. the whole convo was abit more hilarious then that. but still. me and quin pepper the entire convo with expletives and curses. lol. in spite of my anger, this is really funny tho. cant wait to hear about the class chalet. HAHAHA.

AND OMFG I FEEL LIKE LAUGHING AT THIS COMMENT(CAUSE TEACHER'S PHOTOS ALSO GOT PUT UP ON THE FORUM) "how come not sandridge ong he so dreamy.." LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. HILARIOUS.

2009-11-23T11:05:00.002+08:00

okay, lets blog about last night. lol. gwen called me at 12.40+ and we kinda argued for a while, then suddenly, we just made up. like damn fast LOL. then after that somehow the topic jumped to jimmy lim LOL. HE'S IN THE NEWSPAPER WTS. ytd one la, but still. all the 4E ppl kena implicated with him LOL. plus ym and nc. gwen was like telling me about her conversations and everything while i was sitting in the living room in the dark about to doze off. LOL. FUCK it is so not funny now. fucking pissed with that person who put other ppl's pics on the forum. FUCK MAN. KNN.

im going to go flare up now with quin. both of us are pissed over the same thing, yet different reasons. screw jimmy lim la.

2009-11-22T20:56:00.002+08:00

haven't been using the com for sometime, so i missed the MAMAs ytd. but luckily yishan kept me updated(: the most surprising one was like, khun + ivy.

Shan: Ivy kissed khun! Wtf.
Me: Wtf i want to kill her and take her place.
Shan: Exactly, if you watch it, you'll go crazy.
Me: =/ khunnie got taken advantage of. lol.

LOL. anyway, went out today, and mmm, got what i have been wanting for a while. got a new book too. the pact, by jodi picoult. very nice. quotes coming up at the end of this post. (credits will be duly posted yes? -.-)

oh and ms chia's wedding was fun. i woke up late LIKE AT 8.30 WHEN THE WEDDING WAS AT 9.30!!! so i took a cab. ms chia was super super chio in the wedding dress. catholic church, so was kinda weird. even the lord's prayer is sung LOL. so in the end, didn't say anything, didn't sing anything, except for like amen or whatever. then went to congratulate ~~miss chia~~ MRS ONG. lol. and her husband. then went down for lunch. ate alot. LOL. thanks to xiangli, for scooping so much jelly, then we couldn't finish. took pictures(i know, im shocked too) with the others and with ~~ms chia~~ mrs ong xD lol.

okay, quotes time(:

"And ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." --- Kahlil Gibran

"And, after all, what is a lie? 'Tis but the truth in masquerade." --- Lord Byron (Don Juan)

"Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?" --- Christopher Marlowe

oh, and congrats to my favourite boyband winning the best artist of the year and the best boyband awards. ♥♥♥!

i know it now. i realise it now. its taken me long enough. but now its all over.
you actually mean more to me then she did.
guess i just didn't realise it until then.
im sorry if you thought everything i said and did was
only because you were a substitute for her.
that's not true.
you bring me relief, true, but i would never expect anymore out of you.
im sorry.

2009-11-20T23:44:00.000+08:00

this blog can die and go burn in hell. I'll come back when i'm better.

2009-11-19T22:00:00.002+08:00

went out with rei and xz to watch 2012 today. ate lunch with rei at subway and bought her old books. hmmm. i actually have nothing to blog about now since my brother(FREAKING IRRITATING REALLY) is bugging me to get off the computer. so whatever.

2009-11-18T22:43:00.002+08:00

went to watch jennifer's body earlier today with my (24 YEAR OLD) aunt and a guy friend of hers. like... 3 hours ago LOL. felt totally weird to be around them at first, since they're like close to twice my age. but then after wards, while we were eating dinner, at some jap place, there was this couple seated like next to us( in a way.) then they were like sneaking glances at mel and snickering away. so after that we realised then i was like insulting the girl in a very indirect way.

like
Mel: eh so hows sch and everything?
Me: OH YOU KNOW DAMN BORING. BUT THERE ARE SOME GIRLS IN MY CLASS THAT ARE SUCH BIMBOS. THINK THEY'RE SO PRETTY AND LAUGH AT OTHERS, BUT THEY'RE SO UGLY LOL.
Mel: OH YEAH HAHAHAH THAT ALWAYS IS THE CASE LA.

hilarious. seriously. she didn't have to thank me at all after dinner. it was so fun to insult them. lol.

jennifer's body was like the only horror movie i've watched that is HILARIOUS yet still remains scary. lol.

oh wells. had a good time today. hopefully tmr will be just as good.

2009-11-16T16:12:00.003+08:00

finally gonna watch jennifer's body with mel and her friends this wed. hopefully my mum will let me stay out later then usual. i really envy those older ppl with their freedom man, can stay out till late at night =/ oh wells.

realised that something i did was really contradictory to what i said. hahah, but oh wells. idc. uprising by muse is on chart attack! whoa. hahah. i think its like #8 or 7? this is like the only song by muse that i really like. "they will not control us. we will be victorious. COME ON!" lol. lyrics are kinda hilarious.

i wish for a time travelling machine, so i can just fastforward time to 14th dec, and spare me the agony of waiting. 28 days wtf. so bloody long. and i cant wait to get my new wardrobe for london + paris. kinda disappointed that we're not going milan tho, or maybe we are, just that i dont know xD lol, i'll just keep my hopes to a minimum. its like alr the trip of a lifetime to go to london + see snow :DDDDDD

2009-11-15T22:26:00.003+08:00

use me as you will, pull my strings just for a thrill.
and i know i'll be okay, though my skies are turning gray.

hmmm, cant wait for 14th dec. then i'll disappear from everybody until the 2nd of jan. paris. PARIS. PARIS PARIS PARIS. IM GONNA SEE THE EIFFEL TOWER PLUS DISNEYLAND. PLS PLS PLS LET IT SNOW, GOD. I WANNA SEE SNOW.

2009-11-15T21:06:00.002+08:00

pissed off man. feel like cussing. will curse ppl in my mind.

went out for dinner with my dad today, and i feel like staying with my dad after that. besides his annoying pms-ing these days, at least he still gets me stuff. case in point, when we went into a nike boutique, i saw this really cool shoes, then he got it for me, like whut the. and its like 130 bucks. freaking expensive. seriously, im so pissed off right now.

i feel like drinking breezer right now. will open a bottle once i finish this post. seriously no mood to do anything else but sink in despair right now. i dont think anybody else has ever screwed up their life as badly as i have just screwed up mine.

2009-11-15T02:01:00.002+08:00

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

fuck you. just die and go to hell.

2009-11-15T00:24:00.004+08:00

ps for my emotional breakdown on twitter + blogger + facebook ytd. thanks to quin for being there on msn(or rather ebuddy) when i was like "FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK COOL DOWN NAOOOOOOOO." + waiting for gwen to reply me is like GAH. but nvm, rei was like, don't care la! LOL. seriously tho, these people are the best people(or should i say friends? lol) in the world, i wouldn't trade them for anything(:

oh and i really deleted x's number. really(: shows how determined i am, no? (say yes xD) lol. carnival was fun, kinda =/ well, tiring as well. came back and slept like 3 hours.

im still upset, sure. but im alr better then ytd. had pretty much time to cool down alr. so once again, thanks to the ppl mentioned above, except for x. oh and gwen is included. LOL

2009-11-13T08:54:00.002+08:00

"To forget you: That is the most impossible thing to do.

To forget is just an interpretation. An immeasurable love’s memories can never be wiped off. Time doesn’t devour memories: It just slowly, painfully converts it into fragments of a dream. Occasionally, something will spark the wrath of the dream, and the dream will alter into a memory again." --- To Forget You {Low Kay Hwa}

i guess he understands how i feel then.
the memories i had with you...
they're all in my mind as a dream.
i've forgotten the painful times we had,
but taken the good ones and made it
to envelope everything else.
to cushion it in a bubble so i could ignore the cracks.
and like he said, its impossible to forget you.